Secrets & Lies
by Hannah-SpencerReid-West
Summary: Dr Spencer Reid is hiding a secret from his team, That he is Gay. But when his team discover the truth, when Reid and his "Friend" are kidnapped and tortured for them all to see on camera. What will happen? When Secrets are told and Lies are revealed. GAY FANFICTION! DISCLAIMER:/ I do not own any of these characters beside one, all rights go to Criminal Minds CBS Tv Show.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Not Himself

The ear piercing ring of Dr Spencer Reid's alarm clock echo's throughout the young geniuses

apartment. The apartment was a fairly normal one, for Reid anyways. The walls painted a dull cream, brown leather furniture and a tall dark brown mahogany book shelf stood still at one end of the room, books piled high and to the hundreds. Reid I'd love to read as he always points out to the team "I can read 20,000 words per minutes..."

The young geniuses arm stretched wide over his limp body as he smacked it down on the alarms head, his over arm brought down the duvet which covered his face, purple moons lay under his eyes, blinking a few times as the bright morning light burnt his eyes which have been deprived of sunlight for hours. His eyes sparked open as he looked upon the clock '9.02am' "SHIT!" Cried Reid, as he raced out of bed, grabbed some clothes from his set of draws, brushed his long brown locks, and dumping all his work into his messenger bag, leaving the apartment hastily.

As the clock stuck 9.30am Dr Spencer Reid was an hour and a half later, which was unlike him. His team mates of the BAU sat at their desks waiting for the young doctor to come rushing through the double doors any minute now. And he did, at 9:34 the young Doctor come shooting from the glass doors "i am so sorry I am late" He said quickly as he dumped his messenger bag down by his desk in the bullpen.

"It's okay Reid, just make sure it doesn't happen again please" spoke Hotch as he walked past back to his office.

"No, no definitely not sir" Reid let out a 'sigh' as he wasn't in trouble, he rubbed his eyes to try and wake him up a little. Then that's when his phone vibrates in the pocket of his grey tweed coat. As his took the phone from his pocket and smiled, not like a little small hidden smile but one which resembled the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Still eyes locked on his mobile phone, just as Morgan headed towards him, with a smile on his face, clearly he had a good weekend, which in his case included a bar and many, many girls. "Who you texting Pretty Boy?" Morgan smiled.

"Hmm...What...no one" Reid closed his phone and placed it in his pocket hidden from peering eyes.

"Got be someone to make the young genius late" Morgan teased, as the others listened in. "Has Reid got a girlfriend?"

"You know I haven't Morgan" Reid stood up walking over to the kitchen as he has been neglected from his morning coffee. To keep him awake he adds in 2 large spoon full so coffee and, well, a lot of Sugar.

"Oh come on Reid you can tell me" give the young genius a slight nudge of the shoulder.

"Morgan" Reid said as his tone became more agitated. "I haven't got a girlfriend" he walked back to his desk with his hot cup of coffee. "now I have to get on with some paper work so if you don't mind" Reid turned his back to Morgan, whilst pulling out his phone once again and grabbed the pile of unfinished paperwork growing taller and taller each day, they haven't had a case for about a week now and Reid was beginning to get bored.

As Morgan walked over the room, JJ stood watching Reid with curiosity, her head tilted to one side as she watched his every movement. He has been texting for about 5 minutes now and the smile hasn't left his face. "So, what do you think is up with Pretty boy over there?" Questioned Morgan as he joined Jj. They both stood crossed armed near Jj's office as the watched the young genius with questionable expressions.

"I really don't know, but I've never seen him this happy for a long time" Morgan sighs.

"Guess your right Jj. Anyway better get on with some work"

"Keep an eye on him will you" Morgan nodded as he left to his desk and JJ did the same.

Reid finally put down his phone and got on with some work, when once again it buzzed and this time it was a caballero, he smiled, looked around to see if the others were watching, grabbed his phone and walked off to the male's toilets. Morgan noticed him leaving and followed him to the bathroom. The bathroom was fairly clean, the walls painted a pearly white and it smelt strongly of bleach. Reid answered the phone, as Morgan stood ear wigging at the door.

"Morgan, what are you doing?" It was Emily.

"Reid got a Phone call...shh" he placed his finger upon his lips as he turned his head back and focused on Reid.

'Hey, you know you can't call me at work, you know that' Reid whispered. He lent against the bathroom sink as he smiled down the phone.

'I know but I missed you' the voice on the other line was too quiet for Morgan and Emily to make out.

'Aw, I missed you too but I'm seeing you tonight' Reid laughed and so did Morgan and Emily.

'Does Reid truly have a girlfriend' Morgan thought. "Ma man" They both smiled. Reid hung up the phone and placed it into his pocket. Morgan and Emily both turned hastily and walked away before Reid noticed they were listening. The door swung open and Reid approached. Emily looked away and carried on with the mountains of paperwork piled up on her desk and Morgan walks out of his office like nothing had happened. "You were in there some time pretty boy, everything okay?"

"Hmm" Reid wasn't listening. "What? Yeah I'm fine" not even looking up.

"Does one Genius have a girlfriend by chance?" Grinned Morgan.

"I've told you Morgan no I haven't, I know your all thinking the same" all the team was listening into their conversation, and they turned around. "Can't I just have something private in my life?" Reid's smiled soon turned into a glare, down on his paperwork. "If you don't mind, please leave me to work" his tone became angrier.

"Come one" Morgan grinned and leaned over to Reid pushing on his shoulder in a playful manner.

"FUCK OFF MORGAN!" Lashed Reid. His soft brown hair fell in his face, as he pushed his brown wavy locks behind his ears.

"Hey man, I was only messing" Morgan stepped back in total shock as the team just starred at one another.

"I'm feed up of being treated like a child, I'm 26 years old okay!" Reid snapped. When suddenly Aaron's office door opened and a tall man with dark brown hair, a stern look and piercing eyes stood in the door frame. "What's going on? You okay Reid?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah I'm fine" Reid answered abruptly as he sat back down in his chair. And the others got back to work. Emily gave Morgan 'a concerned yet pissed of you shouldn't have gone too far' look.

As the long work day draw to a close. The team got ready to leave. "Want to get a drink with us Pretty boy, you look like you need one?" Morgan leaned on the side wall of Reid's bullpen.

"No thanks Morgan, I've got plans" Reid said as he placed his unfinished work into his messenger bag. Grabbing his phone of the desk and quickly left, with a single goodnight. Morgan laughed to himself and headed to the lift with Emily, Garcia, JJ and Rossi. "He's definitely got a girlfriend!" They all laughed, and the elevators doors closed slowly.

The night was cold, with a crisp breeze blow through the winter air. Reid stood outside his apartment, wearing a long dark blue coat with its collar turned up, his favourite purple scarf hung loosely around his shoulders, and his hair neatly combed a placed behind his ears. He blew his warm breath into his cold hands to warm them up as they gone red as the cold air grasped his numb fingers, then he placed them into his coat pockets. Suddenly a black Land Rover pulled up and Reid smiled. Opening the door and he climbed inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Caught!

The morning sun broke through the cracks in the curtains in Reid's bedroom. The orangey yellow light illuminated the furniture around his room. The room was a mess, clothes scattered everything, chairs knocked over and a broken photo laid dead on the ground with a single crack all the way across. The photo was of the team, Himself, Hotch, Morgan, Garcia, Emily, Jj and even Gideon. Reid laid asleep in his double bed, cuddled up to someone else's chest. A man short dark brown hair, darker then Spencer's, and pale skin. The pair laid cuddled close as they sleep soundlessly, the duvet was crocked, and a pillow or two on the floor.

As the clock stuck 11am, Reid was off for the weekend so had a lay in, as they didn't get in till 5 in the morning. The stench of alcohol lingered in the room, from either them or their clothing. The apartment was silent, then a loud thud came. Someone was knocking at the door. Reid shot up, panicking. He looked at the sleeping man next to him, smiled, he got out of bed and put on some clothes as he was, well, naked. He walked to his bedroom door turned to look at the sleeping man before closing his bedroom door behind him so no one knew who was in there. Only in his pyjama bottoms, he unlocked the door, taking away the chain and turning the key. A slightly large, blonde girl stood in front of him. "Hello Reid" It was Garcia, wearing her funky, bright and unique clothes she definitely stood out. "Oh wow, since when did Junior G Man get abs" giving a cheeky wink. Looking down Reid just realised he was half dressed.

"Oh sorry Garcia..." Hiding behind the door slightly. "What ups?" Reid keeps looking around worriedly

"We've got a case, Hotch told me to give this to you" she hands him a brown folder containing the information about the case.

"Come in. Would you like a coffee?" Reid walks away completely forgetting about the mystery guest asleep in his bedroom, in his bed. His eyes are locked on the pages. 5 children, all been kidnapped from the Las Vegas area, two have already been found, their bodies found scattered around the city in remote areas, body's mutilated. A disturbing case. Garcia looked around, in the 3 years she has known Reid she has never been to his apartment. It was just as she thought it would be, typical Reid; books, case files, photos and even the complete collection of Star Trek. She giggled slightly. As Reid put the kettle Garcia noticed the red marks all over his back, which look a lot like scratch marks but also a bottle of wine, which sat empty of its contents on the kitchen table. As the kettle began to boil, Spencer still focused on the file. When suddenly..."Babe, have you put the kettle on?" A manly voice broke free from the direction of Reid's bedroom. He straighten in shock completely forgetting about him, his eyes widened with nervousness, he turned on his heals to have Garcia stare at him wide mouthed. Quickly she headed for the bedroom..."Garcia, don't, please" but it was too late, the doors to his bedroom had been opened and she just stood in the frame way. "Oh hello" Reid joins Garcia, both with faces like they've seen a ghost "I didn't know you had a guest, I'm sorry" said the stranger as he was putting on his trousers. "Work" one word was all Reid said before slamming the door.

"Now who is that?" Garcia said flirtatiously.

"No one" Reid replied as he tucked his hair behind his ears, hands shaking and sweat collected on his forehead.

"Excuse me...that's not no one" Spencer began to panic, as he kept pacing, his hand covering his mouth as he worried. "Reid!" No reply "REID!" Garcia raised her voice, getting Spencer's attention as he stops and just stares at her.

"No one, I promise. Just a mate"

"He's seems a bit more cosy to be 'just a mate'" Penelope gesturing her fingers as bunny ears. "Reid, are you..." She trailed off.

"Gay?" She nodded. Reid just looks at her, and then to his feet. His hair hung loosely over his Face as he thought back tears that tried so hard to break free. Garcia covered her mouth with her hand which was decorated with hundreds of rings.

"You are. Why didn't you ever tell us Spence" she approached him, placing her hand on his shoulder, which he pulled away from.

"Because I couldn't. I didn't know how you were going in take it. For all I know you all could have hated me. Plus I need a private life"

"We don't care you're Gay Reid and I know the others don't know but trust me we could never hate you, we're family" Reid looked at her for the first time since he had told her. And smiled.

"You really don't care?" Garcia shook her head as she embraced Reid into a hug, as she laughed.

"My little boys all grown up" pinching his cheeks and doing sort of dance, least it was meant to be dancing, more moving her hips and jumping like a mad man. "So was this a lucky one night for Dr Spencer Reid?" She winked. He coughed "um no not really" he coughed "he's my...um...boyfri..." He trailed off to faking a cough to descise his words, but Garcia got past that, and she squalled like a little girl. Hugging him again.

"Go on, go get him then. Introduce me to the lucky feller who stole young Reid's heart" Reid took a deep breath...

"Jason" he shouted, about to shout again when his bedroom door swung open. A man with dark brown hair, emerald green eyes and dressed in a suit and tie walked into the living room.

"You called?" Jason smiled. Reid coughed once again before introducing him.

"Jason, this is Penelope Garcia, she is the technical analysis for the BAU" they both smiled as they shook hands.

"So you work together then" releasing Garcia's hand and he walked over to Reid. He smiled as he lent in for a kiss but Spencer moved his head, like he was ashamed or embarrassed.

"Coffee is over there" Reid gestured with his head. He's beautiful Garcia mouthed. Reid just stared at his fingers as they in twined, as his hair fell into his face, hiding his nervous emotions.

"How do you take it Penelope?" Jason asked.

"White, 4 sugars please. Sweet like me" she smiled and so did Jason but Reid, he laughed.

"When does the jet leave?" Reid final spoke, his voice crackled and quiet, he coughed to clear his throat.

"In an hour. So hurry your cute little bum up". So he did, Spencer left for the bedroom leaving Jason and Garcia together. Which was never a good combination.

5 minutes later

Reid left the bedroom to the sound of laughing. "Seriously, wow Spencer has been holding back on us" Garcia and Jason were both sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, laughing and getting along. They both looked when they saw Spencer coming towards them and just burst into the laughing, frantically.

"What's so funny?" Reid raising his eyebrow in concern.

"Reid, you never told us you're such a wild animal" Garcia growled and burst into laughter once again.

"Jason, what have you told her?"

"Nothing Babe" he stood up leaning in for a kiss but Reid moved his head avoiding him.

"Seriously..." Jason just looked at him, his face dropped; hurt. Reid walked away to the kitchen where he poured himself a fresh cup of coffee, with mountains and mountains of sugar. Garcia noticed the tension when she tried to break the awkward silence between them.

"Just how good you are on the dance floor...and in the bedroom" Garcia laughed hysterically, holding tightly to her ribs as they thud in pain.

"JASON!" Reid went red cheeked, he came out no less than half an hour ago and he's already going on about their sex life..."you've known each other five minutes, and you already telling her what we do in the bedroom!"

"Oh come on babe, it's just a laugh" but Reid was even more pissed off.

"I can't believe you, I wasn't even comfortable coming out let alone having you talk to one of my co-workers about our sex life!" Reid banged down the mug of coffee he just made, spilling the contents all over the counter top. Turning his back to both of them as he wiped the spilt coffee from off the side. Garcia and Jason shared a stare, and Garcia spoke again, to calm Reid down.

"Well we all thought Little Spence was a virgin" sounding annoyed Reid replied.

"Why does everyone think I'm a virgin?"

"Because you're so innocent Reid..." then there was a strange buzzing sound. It came from Jason. It was his phone, taking his phone from his pocket and holding a finger up to the two of them gesturing to wait.

'Agent Campbell' he nodded in response, with the occasional 'yeah'.

"Who was that?" Reid spoke, sounding calm, his voice was smooth and quiet.

"Work, I've got to go babe" Jason and Reid both headed towards the door. Jason stood in the hallway as he spoke to Reid, Garcia come in closer to earwig their conversation, the door was pulled almost to a close, giving to two boys some privacy. Jason once again attempted to plant a kiss on Reid's soft and tender lips. Reid finally aloud Jason to kiss him, it wasn't passionate but it was beautiful and loving; making Garcia once more make an AHH noise in the back of her throat. Jason walked away and Reid closing the door behind him. Garcia just stood there like a little girl with a wild grin plastered on her face from ear to ear. "Haven't we got a case" Reid smiled as he walked passed Garcia.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The Black Rabbit

The moon stood full in the dark blue sky, as night begun to fall. The whistle of the wind echoed passed Reid's bedroom window. He was stood in front of this plain brown full body mirror. His hair was tucked behind his left ear and the rest hung lose. He was typical Reid, he wore plain black work trousers, baby blue shirt and tie, his long brown coat and not forgetting his long purple scarf. This messenger bag sat soundly on his hip as he looked himself up and down in the mirror. And smiled, nervously.

Reid locked the door to his apartment, as he hurried down the staircase. Reid luckily only lived on the second floor so it didn't take him long to get outside. The bitter wind nipped at Reid's hands and face, rubbing his hands together and blowing his warm air into them, he placed them into his pocket pulling out a pair of black leather gloves which he slid onto his hands. Street lamps illuminated the ever so quiet streets with a bright yellow like light, creating shadows that lurked in every corner, but working with the FBI had its strong points, Reid didn't need to be afraid of what lurked in the shadows no more because he knew what to do, and the fact he had a gun hidden behind the back of him, underneath his coat. He fumbled around his bag for his keys till he finally heard the jingling sound. The car was cold, a cloud of smoke came from his mouth causing him to sack up the heating in the car. Reid only had a small little car, old fashioned; like Reid. The windows were clear of frost, the car was warm, and the lights were up and off went Reid.

The bar was loud, the music blared from the DJ in the corner, people were trying to talk over the music which meant they had to talk louder, almost like a competition on who can talk the loudest, and then there were the people who were already out of it, pissed. Jason sat at one of the tables with a glass of vodka and coke in one hand a phone in the other. Spencer was 5 minutes late which isn't like him, Penelope was already here; she was getting herself a drink at the bar but got talking to this fairly attractive man who stood at the other end of the bar. His hair was jet black and skin as pale as ice, he almost looked like a vampire. He was beautiful but strange also, Penelope's type. He giggled to himself, when finally Spencer walked through the door, pushing passed the groups of people huddling by the doorway for the cold air, as the bar was hot and stuffy.

Penelope finished her conversation with guy a bar and even got his number, his name was Samuel. She walked over to Jason with a funky pink and orange looking cocktail which had a blue umbrella and multi-coloured tassels coming out of it. As she drunk through the straw, she smiled at Jason.

"Where's Spencer then?" she said as she too another sip of her drink, and before she knew it then young doctor walked through the door, pushing his way through crowds of people. The bar had died down slightly, people were calming down, sat at tables, talking and drinking there multi-coloured drinks, some had had a bit too much to drink and were dancing and being overly excited, as you do.

"Hey you, why so late. You young doctor, are never late" spoke Jason as he planted a kiss on Spencer's light pink lips.

"Aww" It was Penelope, again. "Sorry" She chocked slightly from a sip of her drink. "Still not use to the young genius being so cute" Penelope smiled.

"Garcia" Spencer laughed slightly, more awkwardly. "I am not cute"

"Whatever you say Junior G Man" she winked at him and carried on with her drink.

As the night went on, and a couple of drinks later, Reid began to the feel the effects of alcohol. His head began to feel light, his skin flustered pink and was very hot, and laughable. And as normal he came out with the most random facts more than normal. "Did you know that alcohol has a stimuli in it which causes the body to produce more sexual hormones when enough is consumed" he said as he too another large gulp of the beer which sat brewing and getting warm on the table. He smiled.

"Oh is that true genius? Then you must be rather excited right now" Jason winked at Spencer, he grab Reid by the hips and pulled him close. Lucky the Black Rabbit was a gay bar so Spencer didn't feel awkward when Jason kissed him, he felt more natural, more unjudged. Reid smiled as Jason lent in for a kiss but before he had the chance, Spencer suddenly jumped back, covered his mouth and ran towards the nearest exit; Jason and Garcia both looked at each other.

"Looks like Spencer couldn't handle his drink as much as he thought" they both laughed before heading outside to find the ill Dr Reid. "Looks like I'm not getting a dance tonight" Jason nudged Penelope playfully as they headed towards the exit.

The cold air stung of the warm skins, making their hair stand tall on their arms. The cool air felt nice though, being stuck in a stuffy bar for 4 hours wasn't the best idea, hot flushes suddenly hit them, making them both feel rather ill themselves, they had drunk more then they planned to drink. Luckily they didn't have to go to work the next day. Both stumbling around the find Reid, finally found him throwing up by a bush at the end of the bar, gripping his stomach tight, his hair blowing in the wind. People crowded the outside too, smoking, drinking and chattering. And many making out. "Spencer, you okay?" Asked Jason, but Reid nodded, as he starting to stand back up straight.

"I feel better now" his speech was all muffled whilst wiping his mouth clean.

"So, that answers our question 'How many drinks does it take to drive Reid over the edge'" Laughed Garcia.

"Yeah, Yeah okay Garcia. What time is it?"

"1.16am" Reid looked at Garcia with wide eyes.

"Seriously, I' swear it was only 10"

"That was 3 hours ago. Time flies doesn't it babe" Reid looked at Jason, Jason grabbed Spencer's arm and swung it over his neck, helping to keep the young doctor standing on two feet.

"Home time i believe?" Spoke Jason and Reid just nodded. Their cars were parked just down the road from the bar, but they had all been drinking quit a lot so that was out of the question. Garcia pulled out one of her many phones and dialled the local cab service. "Hello" her voice was slightly everywhere. "Could I get a cab for 3 people please?" The name replied down the phone, his voice was foreign and quit hard to understand.

"Yes. Where are you?"

"The Black Rabbit Bar, Whitecross Moore"

"Okay, were are sending a cab out now mam, it will be with you in about 5 to 10 minutes. Have a goodnight" He was very polite thought Penelope.

"Thank you, you too". Garcia hung up and closed her phone, placing it back into her coat pocket, which was a bright red, clashing with her shoes and her dress, which was a deep midnight blue. "Cabs on its way, how you feeling Spence?" Spencer was standing on his own now, whilst holding Jason's hand.

"Better, a lot better thanks, but i am never drinking like that again" they all laughed. That's when they heard them. A loud group of voices where screaming and shouting "FAGGOTS" as loud as they could. There were about 3 of them, not many but they were fairly large men, all heading in the direction of Reid and Jason. "Yeah, you, you dirty little faggots" before they hand the chance to reply, they were all on Reid, one punched him in the face with full forced and then they all bundled on his getting him to the ground, Jason tried to get them off him, but one of the men took a swing at him, he dodged it and punched him in the jaw, the guy stumbled backwards. The other guys were kicking Spencer in the stomach, you could hear his painful cries, and it was torture to hear. Garcia was frozen to her spot, her mouth gapping open. She just couldn't move. The guy with tattoos covering his arms, swung back at Jason, knocking him over. He took his attention away from Jason and back to the helping young doctor huddled and bleeding on the floor. But then they were saved, the doctors FBI badge fell out his coat pocket, open on the ground. Tattoo guy noticed first and smacked his mate in the chest..."Fuck! He's FBI" They all stopped and before they knew it, were half way down the street, running for their lives. Everyone was staring and no one helped, but how could they, there was nothing for them to do but hope, otherwise they knew that they'll more likely get their heads smashed in too.

Jason got to his feet and ran over to the limp Reid on the floor. Blood covered his face, and bruises already began to show. "REID! REID!" Jason cried, he knelt down next to him a pushed his hair out of his face, clean streaks of blood were washed way from where Spencer had been crying. "Spencer, spencer" Spencer looked up at Jason, his too eyes swelled red with tears. "You okay to stand?" Reid nodded his head. Jason put one arm under his neck and put one of Spencer's arms over his and hauled him off the floor, which had created a puddle of blood from underneath him. "Spence, are you okay?" Reid didn't say anything, just hugged him tightly as he sobbed into his jacket, which was black so the blood from his nose, mouth and eyebrow didn't really show. "Hey, hey, hey it's okay. Come on the cab is here, we can take you home, then we can called the police" but Reid pushed Jason and away.

"NO!" Reid looked scared, he was used to seeing this happen but never first hand experienced it. "Just take me home"

"But Reid, you need to inform the police, if not then your team, they can help"

"NO! Because then they will know the truth, and that can't happen, not yet"

"But…"

"No, please just take me home" Jason just nodded. He put Reid into the cab and went to get Garcia who was still stood by the doorway, frozen, tears streaming down her face.

"Penelope, are you okay?"

"I-I Couldn't do anything, i just...froze" a fresh tear streamed down her red and swollen face.

"It's okay, it isn't your fault, and we just need to get Reid home now" Garcia agreed.

"You will stay with him tonight won't you?"

"Cause I will Pen, don't worry, I'll be with him. We'll get the cab driver to drop you off first, I'll walk you to you front door and help you in, make sure you're okay, then I'll have to get Reid home" Penelope agreed, and they got into Cab. People who witnessed the fight, all still stood exactly in the same place, doing nothing.

"Where you going to?" Said the Cab driver.

"223 Storemare Rd first, then Broadchurch Rd next" Jason shut the door, and they driver went.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Nightmares

Every punch, every kick shot pains throughout my body, pain courses through my nerves and all I could see was darkness. I could hear the guys shouting and screaming 'faggot' and 'fucking queer', even the words struck like poison. My body was limp, I couldn't even lift a finger, my eyes swelled with tears, as they burned and grew red. I can hear Jason's voice calling my name, he sounded broken, everything was slow and echoing like it isn't real. And then I felt Jason's arms...

Reid shot up quickly, he was panting quickly, his face dripped with sweat and everything felt so hot. Hand on his heart as it beats at an irregular pass. Spencer rubbed his eyes with his hands, and then he felt movement and quickly jumped. "Spence, are you okay?" It was Jason, lying next to Reid in his bed, no top on. His body was like Reid's; skinny and pale, but Jason had a bit more muscle then he did and Reid liked that.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" Reid responded still shaking viciously.

"You don't look okay, did you have a nightmare?" But Reid just shook his head, and leaned over, placing his head on Jason's chest, feeling ever heartbeat and it was beautiful, it calmed him down, as he wrapped his arms around him, and Jason did the same and pulled him in tightly. Reid smiled, this was perfect, it made him feel safe and not so alone. And then sleep over powered him, and everything went dark.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Secrets

Reid couldn't go back to sleep that night, he stared at the ceiling; thinking about what happened only those few nights ago at the club. terrified to shut his eyes, overtime he does he see their faces, Jason's face, and then he see himself; lying there hopeless on the ground, not fighting back and just taking every hit. As he lied there, Jason asleep next to him, the clock reading 5:59am, 'only one more minute till the alarm goes off and I have to face work' he thought. He rubbed his face before pulling the covers off and sitting on the end of the bed with his face in his palms, 'what do I do? Do I tell them the truth, and try and find the men to beat me to an inch of my life? Reid just shook his head and stood up just as the alarms ear splitting sounds violently fills the room, he headed to the bathroom just as Jason began to stir.

The showers warm water flowed down Reid's face and body, steam filled the room; nothing could be seen. Reid just stood in the hot water, thinking? All he does now is think; quiet and almost dead. So many thought run through his great mind, and that's when he looks at his arm; the scars of what happened to him only last year, the marks on where his addiction took over his life, but only for a short time. Spencer never really told anyone about his addiction, they kind of just new, but they didn't know about the small bottle he has hidden under the floorboards in his bedroom, just in case anything like this happens and he needs to forget, needs the peace and quiet like it hadn't even happened. "Spence?" It was Jason shouting from behind the bathroom door, Spencer coming back down to earth, "Are you okay? You've been in there a while, you got to head to work soon"

"Yeah, sorry didn't realise the time, I'll be out in a bit" Spencer shock his head and opened the door of the shower and grabbed his towel, he took one look in the mirror and then down at his arm. Jason was the only person who he told about his addiction, but he will kill him if he ever got back into it again, it will cost him his job, his house, everything. He pushed his hands through his matted hair and opened the more. Jason was sat on the bed, phone his hand, still in his pyjama bottoms. "Ahh finally, you took your time didn't you" he smiled, but then he saw Reid's face, "Spence, are you okay? After last night anyway? I'm worried about you, you never talk to me anymore, and we haven't even spoken about what happened Friday night at the club"

"I'm fine" was all Reid said as he pushed passed Jason, grabbing his clean clothes from off the chair and heading back to the shower. Once Reid was dressed and ready to go and so was Jason, they left. Jason always dropped Reid off a block away from the BAU headquarters so no one gets suspicious, then he left to his own job, working as the a Detective for the Virginia Police Department. The car journey was quiet, Reid held his head down with his hot, fresh cup of coffee (which is probably more sugar then coffee). "Come on Spence, talk to me" Jason looked over every now and then whilst driving, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Nothing, I said I'm fine didn't I?" Reid snapped.

"Yes, but last night, no you wasn't, you were shaking. Reid, you were scared" The worried look grew even more on Jason faces now he talks about it.

"There was nothing I could do, I-I-I just lead then hit and beat me in front of everyone, calling me what they did" Spencer looked Jason in the eyes, his eyes now red and puff and he tried so hard to hold back the tears the formed in the back of his eyes, the lump that grew in his throat.

"Spencer." Tears fell from Jason's eyes, Spencer looked too in shock, he had never seen Jason cry before, in the whole 6 months they had been together, not once had Jason cried in front of Spencer, but that was a different story for Reid, he always cried in front of Jason, always looked to him for comfort, they did live together after all, but this was new to Spencer, and he couldn't fight back the tears anymore and he just left them flow down his face, his face red and puffed, and now wet. "I tried so much to stop them but i just couldn't get to you" They had stopped where Jason had normally dropped Reid off, just on the corner near the BAU. "As I watched them beat you, I felt like they were beating me too" Spencer looked up at Jason, and just stared at him.

"I know you tried, I know you tried everything you could, but there wasn't anything you could do to be honest"

"You need to tell your team" Spencer practically jumped out of his seat when Jason said that.

"Are you mad? I can't tell my team, then they will know that I'm-I'm..."

"Gay?"

"Yeah" Spencer looked down again, he wasn't one for eye contact, that's what gives everyone the idea he may be autistic. "What's so bad about telling you're team? Are you ashamed of me, is that it?"

"What! No, of course not, I'm just afraid of how they will react, they might hate me"

"Spence there you're family there not going to hate you, you just need to give them a chance, Penelope already knows, and she doesn't care, so why should the others?" Spencer didn't give him a answer, just left slamming the door behind him. "Spencer. SPENCER!" but he was gone. Jason just shook his head, wiped his eyes and started the car, before he headed off to work, even though he was already 5 minutes late.

Spencer was 5 minutes late for work, but he couldn't care less, he just strolled in there like nothing, which got him a few dodgy looks from his team mates. Luckily they haven't got a case so all he had to do was paper work, but late was late and Reid was never late. But that wasn't the only reason why Reid got some dodgy looks, he had forgotten all about the huge black eye he had got, which wasn't too hard to miss. "Spencer, you okay?" It was Morgan, his eyebrows raised has he looked at the mark on Spencer faces.

"Yeah I am fine, I just tripped over a stool at mine and smacked it on the corner of the table" Reid put on a fake smile, "Silly me eh, always finding new ways to injure myself" he laughed jokily, Derek just looked at him with concern.

"If you say so" He left Spencer who walked over to his bullpen, only to be bombarded by JJ and Emily.

"What happened to Reid?" Spoke Hotch as his stood next to Morgan.

"He said he tripped and hit it on the corner of the table at his"

"And do you believe him?"

"No of course I don't Hotch, I know when he's hiding something". They both stood outside Hotch's office, watching Reid talk to JJ and Emily, clearing repeating the same story, or the same lie; because they were all laughing.

1 Week Later

After a long and hard week at work, it's over, for now anyway. It was Friday night and the team were packing up to leave. Reid was putting everything into his messenger bag, Penelope, JJ and Emily were all stood ready and talking to one another about their favourite clothing store having a sale; and Derek was leaving Hotch's office with Rossi. "Anyone up for getting a drink? Rossi's treat" Derek said as he laughed but Rossi didn't looked as amused, then he smiled.

"Sure" said everyone besides Reid who said nothing.

"You coming Reid?" Asked Morgan.

"No I'm alright thanks, just thinking of staying home" Reid replied but Morgan new something was up, he didn't look tiered but more scared, 'Reid never looked scared' Morgan thought.

"Oh come on Pretty Boy"

"NO!" Snapped Reid, everyone was taken back by this, they've never really seen Reid been angry before besides the time the other day when Morgan pissed him off.

"Calm down man I was only asking. What has been up with you this last week, you've been quiet and not to mention that massive black eye you haven't?" Morgan queried.

"I said I'm fine didn't i, just leave me alone Derek" Reid said as he grabbed his bag and headed towards the door, but. Morgan stopped him, grabbing his arm and spinning him around.

"GET OFF ME DEREK!" Screamed Morgan.

"No, not till you tell me what is wrong"

"I said nothing is wrong, why can't you understand that?" Pleaded Reid.

"Because you're shutting us out, we know something is wrong. Now what happened to your face?"

"Nothing, I told you I slipped". Reid said trying to leave.

"Reid" Said Morgan.

"MORGAN PLEASE JUST LEAVE IT!"

"Not until you tell us!" Morgan voice became more stern, he stared at Reid, and Reid Just stared back.

"I WAS BETTEN UP OKAY!" Spencer shouted at the top of his lungs, the others just stared at him with sympathy, abut also concern.

"What? Why?" Asked JJ.

"It doesn't matter" Reid replied.

"Reid"

"Derek please just stopped" Reid began to walk away, thinking he had finally finished the conversation until.

"REID"

"BECAUSE IM GAY!" Screamed Reid as he turned to look at his team, who just stared at him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Jason

The team all stared at Reid, his facial expression changed when he realised what he had said. His eye wide, mouth partly open in shocked and eyes beginning to blur with tears. The team's expressions were closely the same. All in shock. Reid had just come out to them, I mean they all had their suspensions over the years but didn't really take much note. Everything was awkwardly quiet, Reid took a breath and turned around heading to the door in a quick pace. The team didn't know what to do, do they hurry after him and tell him they don't care he is gay? Or do they give him space? Which everyone they decide to do they might have to hurry, Reid was already in the elevator and before they knew it, he was gone.

 **SPENCER'S P.O.V**

Standing alone in the elevator just thinking of what happened and how he had to just get of there, tears had already stained his face, he didn't even realise he was crying. "What have I done?" Reid spoke to himself, his voice crackled and broken. The lift doors opened revealing the empty lobby. It was late, everyone else had already gone home, the team worked late today as they have a new case tomorrow, which Reid wasn't looking forward too. Not the case but facing his team after what just happened. Before he Knew it he was at his car with his keys in hand. His hand shaking, he placed the key in the locked and got in and just drove.

The Team

Still stood baffled, since Reid left no one had said a word, they has the suspicions but brushed them away. Each one expected Reid for who he was, because he was family, and it's not like they can be homophobic in there line of work due to victims or survivors who are Homosexual or killers who kill gays because they are homophobic. Meaning, cause they can feel weird about it but it can cost them their job due to what they believe in. "I knew it" it was Rossi, everyone turned to face him with baffled expressions. He smiled at them and started laughing. "Hotch I made a wager on whether or not Reid was Gay. And I won" he gave a cocky like smile as Hotch handed him the money.

"Why?" It was Morgan who spoke once again.

"Well we had our suspicions and decided to have a little fun out of it and make some money. Not being mean to Reid or anything, but just a little harmless fun". Rossi explained and the room once again fell silent, no one knew what to say or how to say it.

"I knew" everyone turned to look, it was Garcia, her hand in twinned with one another, knees together and hand down. She looked like a school girl who has just been send to the principles office.

"What do you mean you know? Did he tell you?" Morgan asked and the rest of the team looked at one another puzzled.

"Not exactly" Garcia answered, lifting her head to look at Morgan. Normally they would call each other by their nicknames they had given each other, both had a few for one another. Garcia was Baby Girl and Derek was Chocolate thunder. They had been told to keep their nicknames down and the way in which they speak to each other down or not in the work place as co-workers have complained. "Do you care to elaborate?"

"I went over to his to hand him the last case file about 2 weeks ago, he wasn't expecting me round because when we sat down to talk it over with coffee, I heard someone in the bedroom and it sounded like another guy. So I ran into the bedroom to find a tall, slightly skinny browned hair man getting changed. And that's when he told me" the team still looking at one another when finally someone else who wasn't Derek spoke.

"So, Reid has a boyfriend?" It was JJ, she said smiling. He little brother has all grown up, she didn't care if he was gay, just cared that he was happy.

"Yeah, his names Jason Campbell, he is so lovely" Garcia smiled. After about ten minutes of awkward silence when they first found out, they all talked over each other about Reid's boyfriend. "Morgan we all know you're going to tease him" Emily laughed.

"Cause I will, our little boy is getting laid" the team all laughed. Garcia stood smiling down at her phone, she was texting Reid.

Hey Reid. Look about what happened none of us care; about you being gay. I know I already knew and I didn't care did I? Neither does the rest of the team, were all laughing about how Morgan is totally going to tease you tomorrow like he does. Rossi and Hotch made a bet and Rossi won. The point is, none of them care they just care that you're happy. I've told them about Jason and I think they want to meet him. Text me back baby boy.

Love ya lots. PG x

Spencer

Spencer finally got back to his flat, his hair dripping wet from the rain and his jacket darker at the shoulders, only been outside no more than five minutes and he is already soaked. He shakes himself off, and unlocks his front door to be greeted by the small of takeaway Chinese. "Hey sweet" Jason smiled as he laid the table; well the coffee table anyway, laying out the complete Doctor Who collection. Reid tried to smile but couldn't, but instead he broke down into tears. Jason looked confused but came rushing towards him before Reid collapsed onto the floor. "Hey, hey, what's up?" Jason hugged Spencer tight, as he cried on Jason's shoulder.

"They know" Spencer's voice was nearly unclear under the trembling.

"Know what?"

"About me, being Gay..." Reid pulled in tighter into his boyfriend's arms.

"And what's so bad about that?" Replied Jason.

"What isn't? I can't face them tomorrow, I didn't stay long enough for them to reply, I kind of shouted it at them and ran, I couldn't face them. I don't know how they are going to take it, they might hate me" Sobbed Spencer.

"Hey, there not going to hate you, I mean; Garcia took it well didn't she, she didn't care. I don't think you're other team mates are either, you're family are you not?" Reid took his head off Jason's shoulder and looked him in the eyes, Jason used his fingers to wipe away his tears, Reid's face was now red and eyes all puffy and inflamed. "You think so?" Jason just smiled and nodded.

"Of course, who wouldn't love you, I mean I love you..." Spencer looked at Jason, his eyes wide with shocked.

"Y-you said it..." Reid's voice stuttered, no one has ever said that to him before.

"Of course I said it, because I do. I love you Spencer Reid" Tears fell from Spencer's eyes once again, before Reid had the chance to answer him back, Jason pulled in for a kiss. Reid just took it, but then he got more and more into the kiss, growing more passionate, Spencer felt Jason's tongue move across his lower lip, asking for entry, but Reid denied, he wanted to tease him just a little bit, but that was before Jason started grinding against Reid's bulge causing him to moan, Jason took his opportunity and put his tongue into Reid's mouth, they both battle for dominance. Pulling on Spencer's tie, Jason led him into the bedroom, not breaking the kiss once and slamming the door behind them.

Reid woke up to the loud buzzing of his alarm clock, 5:59am. Reid stirred, rubbing his hands other his face to wake him up, he looked over at Jason who laid sprawled across the bed...and naked. Reid's eye's widened as he remember the events of last night, he smiled. 'I love you Spencer Reid' that though alone made his smile widen into a huge grin, and he lent over and kissed the sleeping Jason oh his forehead before getting into the shower, to head to work.

Spencer turned on the shower, hot water ran from the head causing the room to fog up and the mirror to steam over. He looked into the mirror, his body covered in purple and red bruises, which Jason gave to him last night, but that was the only good thing. Reid was always a skinny and not very muscular person, always being able to see his bones, never having a six pack or anything, that's why Reid hated his body, hated looking at it every time he has to go for a shower. Scares in the fold of his arm of were Tobias Hankel injected him with Diladid, where he himself injected the Diladid. He had been clean for 2 months now, even though the events of his kidnapping only happened less than a year ago, he had got help but not from his team, being gay isn't the only thing he has hid from them. Reid just looked at his reflection and took in a deep breath before jumping into the hot flowing water.

When Spencer opened the bathroom door, he got a wave of beautiful smells, bacon, eggs, pancakes and coffee; Jason wasn't in bed, the bed was nicely made and clothes were put in the wash basket. "Hey beautiful" Smiled Jason as he hovered over the cooker, with an egg on the go. Spencer's pushed back his wet hair as he walked over to Jason, he wrapped his arms tight around his torso and pulled him in for a hug, kissing his back and shoulders. "What's put you in a good mood this morning?" Jason smiled.

"You" replied Reid who carried on kissing his partners back.

"Oh yeah, and why's that?" Jason said raising his eyebrows.

"I love you too" Jason turned around to look Spencer in the face. "I never got to say it back to last night" Jason laughed slightly under his breath, as Reid pulled him into a kiss, not a passionate one just a small but long peck on the lips. "I love you too, too" Jason smiled and so did Reid, until he looked at the time on the cooker.

"SHIT!" Spencer shouted, "I am going to be late for work" he rushed into the bedroom, found his shirt, trousers and tie. He quickly put them on, trying not to fall over, he fixed his hair and put on his shoes. Luckily Jason was already dressed so he didn't have to panic. Reid raced out the bedroom, messenger bag in hand, he pulled on his coat and placed his messenger bag over his shoulder. "WOW, you did that in lightening speed" Jason laughed. "I put you're breakfast into a sandwich for the go" Jason gave his sandwich which was wrapped in tin foil, and they headed out the door.

The morning hair was cold and icy, white puffs of smoke left their mouths every time they breathed, Spencer, rubbing his hands together, got into Jason's car and quickly turned on the heating. "I f-feel like an I-icicle" Reid shivered. They car soon heated up as the heat blasted from the heater. Spencer unwrapped his breakfast sandwich and tucked in, enjoying every mouthful. Spencer's eye's soon widened as he remember the events of last night, and not the sex but with his team. "They know" Spencer suddenly said, Jason just looked over at him thinking and hoping that he had only forgotten. "I forgot, after the night with you, I forgot that I told the team that I'm gay". Spencer began to shake and not from the cold, but because he was worried and nerves, how was the team going to react, well not react but be towards him? So many questions flooded his mind he never noticed that he was already round the corner where Jason drops him off so no one notices or get suspicious. "You'll be fine, just remember what I said. There you're family, even if there not blood they are still family, and they will love you no matter what okay, just stop worrying. You will regret not knowing, trust me. I hated my parents not knowing, and when they accidental found out because I didn't wipe my internet history properly" this caused Reid to laugh. "Don't laugh at me" Jason smiled. "But seriously, when they found out they didn't care, I mean they had to get used to it of course, but all parents are like that. My parents finding out I was gay was such a relief. Okay", Spencer nodded, kissed him on the cheek and left, without saying anything. His wet hair made his shiver from the frosty breeze, he pulled his arms in to hug his body as he walked to work.

As usual Reid was the first in, besides Hotch of course, Reid often thought that He slept here, last one to leave and the first one in. Spencer headed to the kitchen area and made himself a fresh cup of coffee, as he didn't get to finish his this morning. He added the coffee and poured in a mountain of sugar to keep him going for the day. Sipping his freshly made brew, he headed over to his part of the bullpen, placing his coffee on the desk and bag by his chair; he was about to sit down when a voice called his name. "Reid, can I speak to you in my office please?" It was Hotch, standing tall and clean as normal. His hair neat, and his suit pressed, Reid gulped and headed towards his office. "Reid, please come in and shut the door behind you" Reid hovered in the doorway, and did as asked. Reid sat down in from of Aaron who was sorting all the paperwork mounted in front of him. Reid fiddled with his hands in his lap, worrying about what Aaron is going to say...'How could you not tell us?' 'You're off the team?' 'How are you?' Anything that was about to come out of Aaron Hotchner's mouth worried Spencer so much he began to sweat. "I want to talk about the events of last night" Spencer new it, he bowed his head, trying not to crying, hiding it from Hotch.

"Sir, I'm sorry...I-I leave if I must" Hotch just looked confused, raising his eyebrows at him.

"Reid, I'm not kicking you off the team, just telling you that we all spoke last night and none of us care, or in better words; mind". Spencer raised his head, luckily he held back the tears but his eyes were red.

"You don't?" Spencer voice crackled.

"Why would we? Yes I came to quiet a shocked to us all, besides Penelope who apparently already new, and quiet a funny story that one is" Aaron laughed. Confusing grew on Reid's face, not because of them accepting him but because Hotch smiled, in all the years Reid has known Hotch not once has he seen him smile. "But I must say, even though we don't care, other members of the FBI might, so don't go screaming it from the roof tops yet. Not saying don't say anything, just let them find out for themselves, okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, I just didn't know how you all would react, I was just scared"

"We all get scared sometimes Reid, it's normal, just know that no matter who you are or who you date, we are still a family and we still love you" Tears fell, Spencer was moved by what Hotch had said, he didn't mean to cry, he just did. He smiled and giggled through his nose before wiping his eyes. "Thank you sir" Reid stood up and walked out of this office, closing the door behind him.

By this time it was 7:34am and the team finally arrived for work, being an early one as they have a case in Florida today. 6 young women, all high class cases, were found around the back allies of Miami. They had been kidnapped, held for 3 days before appearing in the back allies, sexually assaulted, signs of torturer and then stabbed 1 in the heart anti mortem and 6 other times around the face and genital area, post mortem. "And what is this Pretty Boy" It was Morgan coming up behind Reid and pulling down the collar of his shirt, revealing the dark red hickey on Spencer's neck. Spencer pushed his hand away and pulled his collar back up, completely forgetting he was covered in the things.

"Leave it out Derek" Spencer moaned.

"Did Pretty Boy get lucky last night then?" Spencer was standing up to when Morgan pushed his shoulder.

"That none of your Business" Spencer pushed passed Derek to head to the kitchen to make himself another cup of coffee as he finished his one already.

"Oh, leave him alone Derek" JJ was standing behind Morgan, her long blonde hair pulled neatly back into a pony tail which still hung half way down her back.

"But pretty boy got laid" Smiled Morgan. "So, what's his name then?" Asked Morgan even though he already knew his name, Jason. Spencer new this would happen, he took in a deep breath as he poured in his sugar, he closed his eyes and tried to figure out what to say. 'Do I tell him/them about Jason?' 'Do I just ignore him?' 'Or do I tell shout at him to leave it?' Before Reid new it he was now facing a grinning Morgan, sipping on his coffee and said "Jason, his name is Jason" Reid screamed in his head thinking that what just happened was a huge mistake, he didn't even meant for it to come out, it just slipped out.

"Ah so Pretty Boy has a lover does he?" Morgan swooned over to Spencer who just pushed passed him.

"Leave it out Derek" Reid replied before sitting down at his desk.

"But I can't, finally out little Dr has a lover, wasn't quite what we were thinking but hey, a lay is a lay" Spencer, angrily, got up from his seat and faced Morgan.

"A lay is a lay? What the hell Morgan I'm not all like you"

"Whoa come down Pretty Boy I was only messing with you" Morgan held up his hand as an apologetic manner.

"I told you will take it too far Morgan, just leave him alone" Jj said, walking over to Reid, she just smiled, something about that made Reid smile, just something about JJ makes him happy. "So Jason hey, what's he like?"

"He's nice, I guess" Reid replied nervously.

"Is that all we get? We didn't get much out of Garcia because she was all giggly. How long have you to be together for?" Morgan was also intrigued by this question as he walked closer to the pair.

"6 months, 24 days, 10 hours and 48 minutes" Reid responds, the team stood baffled, Emily, Garcia and Rossi just appeared carrying their go bags and caught the best part of the conversation. They all just stared at him in shock.

"Bloody hell, how on earth did you keep him a secret from us for so long?" asked JJ.

"Easily enough, just like I've kept being gay from you all for 3 years" He just smiled trying to be all cocky and funny. The team looked at one another in amazement. But that was all cut sort when Hotch merged from his office. "Wheels up in 10" They all nodded in unison and headed towards the lift.

"So Reid, when do we get to meet him?"

4 Days Later - Case Closed

"Well that was unpleasant" Emily said as they all walk into the bullpens of the BAU Headquarters.

"Tell me about it, but the last victim is safe and back home" Morgan replied.

"Doesn't mean she's happy, what she went to is enough to mess with someone's mental state for years to come" Reid said as he put down his messenger bag by his desk.

"Well we did all we could. But forgetting that and going onto another topic, everyone up for going for a few drinks?" Morgan smiled to his fellow team mates.

"Sure" was everyone's response.

"Sure, needed after this case, I could drink many alcoholic beverages" Rossi spoke making everyone else laugh.

"Reid, you can bring Jason if you want? I mean we need to meet him and what better time than going out for a drink?" asked Morgan, Reid just stared at him, shocked, scared, he doesn't know how he was feeling. What would the team make of him? Would they hate him? Love him? Is it worth finding out? The team just all stared at Spencer, with smiles on their faces baring their teeth, making it out like they are very excited. "I don't know? Umm…" Spencer felt awkward even talking about him, his team has only just found out, yes they are happy for him but nerves still grew throughout Reid's body.

"Come on Spence, we want to meet the lucky guy" JJ said as she walked over to Reid and linked arms with him.

"I'll give him a call" Reid pulled out his phone, and scrolled down his contacts till he found Jason's name, and it began to ring. Reid's hands were shaking, and it was clearly obvious. It rang 5 times before Jason finally answered, Reid didn't know if he was annoyed or happy.

"Hey, you okay? How was your case?" Jason said.

"It was okay, I guess, as okay as you can get" Reid said, his team all looked at him with grins like the Cheshire cat, they could hear every word Jason was saying.

"When will you be home?"

"I don't know, Umm I was wondering, well the team were wondering if you maybe wanted to come out for some drinks and meet them?"

"I would love too, if you're okay with that hun. Then I would love too"

"Okay, wait there..." Reid held his hand over the phone and spoke to his team. "When and where?"

"The Praise, at 8?" Morgan answered whilst he danced like a happy 5 year old child who just woke up to hundreds of presents on their birthday.

"Umm, The Praise at 8 okay?" Nervousness was shown his Spencer's voice as it was all shaky and crackly.

"I'll meet you there, Love you"

"Love you too" Reid said rather quickly before hanging up, and looking up at his team.

"AWWWWHHH Pretty Boy" Morgan said half hugging him and half giving him a noogy on his head, making his hair all messy. Reid brushed it all back nice and neatly behind his ears.

"Leave me alone Morgan" Reid, pushing Morgan away.

"But were all just so happy, meeting Pretty Boy's lover an all" Morgan moved away, standing next to Penelope, who seemed to have a bigger grin than anyone else, even though she has already met Jason.

"So? You wouldn't be like this with anyone else, so why me?"

"Because you're our baby, our little boy" Morgan said nudging Reid in the shoulder.

"I'm not a kid, I'm 25 years old, when will you stop treating me and referring to me as the little kid, It's annoying". Reid just looked at all his team with anger and irritation. 'Why do they keep treating me like I'm a baby? I am an adult' Thought Reid.

"You're the youngest of us all, so yes, you are the kid" Morgan said. "Come on its 7.30 already, I want to get there before lover boy turns up" Morgan said, putting his hand on Spencer's back pushing him forward, indicating him to start walking, and he held it there all the way to the elevator.

The JJ found a table near the window, big enough to fit everyone in. Whilst in Morgan's car she had phoned Will inviting him along too, he was already there before anyone else. "First round on me" Rossi said, everyone gave them their order and he headed towards the bar. Reid's nerves came back, he kept checking his watch and looking out the window hoping he wouldn't turn up. It was almost 8 o'clock he still no sign. Tapping his leg and twiddling his thumbs was giving everyone the hint. "Hey Reid, there is no need to be nervous, I know it must be scary for you, having us meet Jason so quickly, but honestly as long as he treats you right we don't care who you date. Yes we've all been all smiles and jokes but it's because I'm guessing it isn't the same for just me..." Jj looked at he team mates and back to Reid, "We're nervous too" She smiled, giving Reid the look she gives him now and again, her eyes shine with happiness and he smile just lights up the room. "Thanks JJ" was all Reid said as he sipped on his Vodka and Coke. He check his watch again which was 2 minutes to 8, looking out the window he could see the dark blue sky, which illuminated orange from the street lights below, people walking along the paths and groups of people laughing and talking holding their drinks. Then there was Jason getting out of his car, he spotted Spencer and waved. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, light blue flowing top with the two top buttons open, grey biker boots and his round rim Madonna styled hat. Spencer must admit that Jason did look sexy, and his smile just makes Reid whole body tingle with joy and happiness. Which you guess you can call love. Reid looked back at his team who once again all just smiled, but not like they were earlier when they were being rather childish, but there was something different, something more caring. 'Are they really happy for me?' Reid turned his back to them to face the door, Jason was looking around for them, and finally spotted them, and he waved and headed towards them. Reid stood up to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around his waist and took him all in. He smelt of freshly grounded coffee beans and the new cologne Spencer had got him for his birthday last month. Reid pulled away and smiled. "Hey hun" Jason said as he lent in for a kiss, but Reid just turned his head and the kiss landed on his cheek. Jason pulled away feeling confused and slightly hurt. Reid, turning back to his team, introduced Jason. "Everyone this is Jason, Jason this is Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi and you've already met Penelope"

"Nice to meet you all finally" Jason said as he shook their hands. Garcia stood up and gave him a big hug. "Nice to see you again Penelope" He gave her a kiss on the cheek and she sat back down, shuffling up so Jason could squeeze in. Jason sat down, "Would you like a drink?" Rossi asked.

"Sure I would love one, just a double vodka and coke for me please, I'll get next round" Rossi bowed his head and once again headed towards the bar.

"So Jason, what do you? Work wise?" Morgan asked.

"I too am an agent, I work in the Missing Children's department, but I am rather new and still in training, only been there less than 2 months" Jason said as he took the drink from Rossi's hand and placing a bright pink straw into it.

"Oh really, well hopefully we get to work with you some day" Aaron said, and Jason smiled.

"Spence, I can't believe you kept this handsome human being hidden from us for 7 months" everyone laughed besides Will..."Hey!" He said.

"But obviously not as handsome as you Will" JJ said as she gave Will a kiss.

"I know right, been wanting to meet you lot for so long but this one here" Jason nudge Reid "Kept me all to himself" Reid just smiled awkwardly at Jason as he finished the last few sips of his drink, and placing it back down on the table.

"Well sorry, just wasn't ever the right time" Reid said.

"It's always the right time Spencer, all you have to do is 'Hey guy's by the way I have a boyfriend...'. It really isn't that hard" They all laughed, and Garcia almost spilling her drink. Reid just sighed.

"My round now I think, the same?" they all nodded. They all looked at Spencer in unison.

"Reid!" Emily said, shocked.

"What?"

"He's gorgeous, if he wasn't gay, I would totally go for him" she laughed.

"You should have seen him in only boxer shorts" Garcia wiggled her eyebrows. Making everyone besides Reid laugh.

"GARCIA!" Reid snapped and turned to Penelope.

"What?" Her thrown turned upside down.

"Awh Reid you hurt Baby Girl's feelings" Morgan said. "Do you need some sugar, Sugar?" Derek winked at the once 'fake' sobbing Garcia to a now beaming ball of bright pink light. But just as Jason was walking back to the table with all the drinks, Reid pushed passed him quickly and headed towards the exit. Everyone looked at Jason in pure confusment, to which he response just by shaking his shoulders, and looked at the door. He settled the drinks down and said, "I think I better go and talk to him" Jason headed after Reid.

Outside the Bar - P.O.V

The winter night was cold and crisp, Jason wished he had brought a coat, he looked around for Reid in the crowds of people, and finally found him in the corner by his car. Jason walked over to him, he could clearly see Spencer had been crying, "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Jason placed his arm over Reid, who was shaking violently.

"This, all this, I'm not ready for it" Spencer brought up his head and wiped his tears away with his hand.

"What's all this Spence? Them, or Us?" Jason moved away from him, hurt and slight betrayed.

"Them of course, you were never the problem. It's just them knowing, I'm new to all this, Relationships and having my team know" Jason went in for a hug, wrapping his arms around Spencer's waist, and so did Spencer.

"I know you're frightened, it's normal to be scared. I was terrified about coming, I didn't know if your friends were going to like me or not" Reid looked up.

"Really"

"Of course, you're not the only scared one here Reid, but we can both get through it together, like we've done before, with your habit and you're depression" Reid looked up quickly.

"They don't have to know about that" Reid became worried even more. If Hotch found out that he was doing Dauladid, he would be kicked from the FBI.

"No. No of course not, but I'm just saying, we've gotten through worse things together, this is just another bump in the road to our perfect relationship" Jason smiled, Spencer leaned in for a kiss, Jason's lips were like ice, but they soon warmed up. They both began to move with one another, and the kiss became more passionate. Their bodies became one, and they move with each other. They finally broke apart, Jason placing his head onto Spencer's as they both smiled, Reid biting his lip. "Come on, it's getting cold lets go on in okay?" Reid nodded, they held hands and heading back into the bar.

Reid and Jason walked back into the bar, the team were all laughing and joking around. "Reid better hurry up and drink you're drink, Morgan was going to pinch it" They all laughed. Reid smiled, thankful they didn't ask him when he ran out. The pair both sat back down and drank there drinks up. Time few passed. They team got to know Jason a lot more, and Spencer was finally coming to terms with it all, he was finally happy. It was about 11 o'clock now, Jason, Reid, Morgan, Penelope and Emily were the only ones left. The others had all headed back home for an early night. "It's getting late, think we better start heading home" Reid said.

"Yeah, sounds wise, wouldn't mind a lie in tomorrow to be honest" Answered Derek. "Baby Girl, want a lift home?"

"Please" They all got up together, put on their coats and heading out to their cars. The cold air hit them hard as they all began to shake. Penelope gave both Jason and Reid a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Reid got into the car, but before Jason could Morgan stopped him, he grabbed his arm. "If you hurt him, I will kill you. He has been through a lot"

"Don't worry Derek, I have no intentions to ever hurt him, I love him" Derek smiled and shook his hand goodbye.

"What did Morgan want?" Spencer said as he turned on the heater.

"Oh nothing" Smiled Jason and he drove off in down the dark night time road.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Somewhere and Nowhere

"I can't wait to get home, I'm shattered" Yawned Jason, Spencer nodded in agreement. Walking up the stairs seemed like a struggle for the pair, cold, tiered and a little tipsy; never a good combination. They finally made it to Spencer's front door, but something didn't seem right, there wasn't anything wrong but there both FBI agents they got this vibe. Spencer looked over at Jason with worry and Jason did the same. Slowly Jason reached behind his back where is gun sat snug under his jacket and on his hip. He pulled out the gun and placed his finger to his lips, indicating to Reid to keep quiet. Unfortunately Reid left his gun in the flat as it wasn't needed to go to a bar, which made him think why Jason had his? Even in such casual wear. The door was unlocked, which wasn't right. "You locked it right?" Reid nodded.

The room was dark, curtains partly closed, meaning the only illumination was coming from the cracks, yellow, orange like light streamed into the apartment, shadows dance around there feet and chills travelled down their spins as if a ghost had simply ran it's fingers along the nerves. Gun in front, followed by Jason and Reid, turning corners quickly making sure there was no one hiding anywhere. They had checked every room but no one there, so Jason walked over to the light switch, but before he could a felt something heavy hit him round the back of the head, he fell to the ground with a great thump, all he heard was the muffled screams of Spencer, and everything went black.

The Team

"So, how was everyone's weekend off?" Spoke Morgan as he walked into the ball pen room to his fellow team mates holding a fresh cup of coffee. "Well my beautiful hunk of gorgeousness mine was rather nice, home alone with a nice glass of red and movies" Replied Garcia, Morgan smiled and draped his arm over her shoulder pulling her into for a hug. "Well Henry had a play day with his friends so me and Will went for a meal" JJ said.

"What do you think Hotch does?" The team all stood and thought about it but not one of them came up with a good idea."Hang on, where's Reid?" Everyone looked around, not realising that Reid was late for work, which isn't normal, he was always in first, sometimes even before Hotch, which is rare but still Reid was never late. But before the team could think any more, Hotch called them to the Round table. There was no case files, no photos of morbid murders and the monitor was off. "Hotch what's going on?" Derek asked.

"Well I have some news" the team all looked at one another. "It's not bad news I've just been asked to lead another case with the Special Ops in Pakistan. I can't say any more about it as it's confidential. Morgan I want you to lead the team while I am gone, okay?" Morgan gave him a puzzling look, his dark eyebrows raised, before Morgan got to say anything the look on everyone's face is something he will never forget. They were all staring at the monitor behind him, Morgan, turned, swinging round his body to find out what everyone was looking at. His jaw dropped. "Reid!"

1 Hour Earlier...Reid P.O.V

The beatings and the torture felt like it went on for hours and hours, my skin was sore to touch, I can't move my arms or my legs as every time I do searing pains shots throughout my body, and my head feels like a been beaten with a baseball bat...oh wait...I have. A big clock sat right in front of me and Jason...12 minutes till the next round of abuse. At every hour, for 15 minutes he finds new ways to torture us. First he just beat us with his fists, then he burnt us with metal he pull from the fireplace, he drowned us then electrocuted us and next I don't want to know what he has in store. My whole body hates me, screaming from the inside, but there was nothing I could to, I was tied to a chair, rope cutting at my wrists and ankles, my throat was so dehydrated I couldn't even yell for help. I got it worse then Jason, he always did it to me first, gets more his aggression out on me, and by the time he got to Jason he was tiered. As I looked over to him, dry blood clung to the right side of his face from where he was hit and knocked out. His body bruised and burnt, black marks on his hands, arms and neck from where the hot metal pipe and scorched his skin, I can feel tears strolling out the corner of my eyes, I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to show weakness but I couldn't help it. Seeing his limp body just slumped against an old wooden chair was killing me, that is the first kind of torture, watching the one I love scream and cry out in pain. What's this guys problem with us?, why is he doing this? and Who is he? So many questions swam throughout my head, making me dizzy. My eyes felt heavy as I haven't slept in over 13 hours. He has had us for this long but out of the 13, only 3 of them were him torturing us, the other time he was ever sat staring at us for hours and hour or just sleeping.

Back to normal

The room was what looked like an old, abandoned warehouse, the walls were crumbling down, the roof was half missing but despite being the morning no sunlight got in, and nothing but to lamps sat either side of Jason and Reid illuminated the place. The dirty yellow colour of the lights made the place seem bigger and scarier then what it really was, and the smell was like walking through at butcher's shop where all the meat went off years ago.

The clock struck 8 o'clock, and on time you could hear the opening of the big doors on the other side of the warehouse, footsteps echoed and Spencer could hear his own heart beating through his chest, scared couldn't describe how he was feeling right now, Jason was still out of it, or sleeping one of them, but the man drew closer and closer until you could see the lamps illuminated the frame of his body, which by the sounds of the torture is confusing as he was a tall made but of no build, more chubby and round, then built and muscular. His hair was a dirty blonde, eyes were like the colour of grass. He had a pail of water with his which he throw over Jason, who bolted up hastily, water dripped of his brown hair, trailing down his face and onto his long black eyelashes, if it was a good time and if he could, Reid would run straight up to Jason, wrap his arms around him and tell him its all going to be okay, but he couldn't, they were tied up and not knowing whether their going to be alive tomorrow.

As the guy walked towards Reid, he carried a tripod and a camera. Reid's eyes followed him with confusion, Jason was awake now but was to afraid to speak, he wasn't use to being in the field so much, now he is at the centre. "You okay?" Reid whispered to Jason, who only starred at him, fear blossomed in his eyes, which looked back at the man. He was setting up his camera, a chair and small laptop. A red light appeared on the camera...

"Say hello to you're friends Dr Spencer Reid and Jason Campball...". The first time the kidnapper spoke.

The Team

"OMG! Is that Reid and Jason?" Jj's hands cover her mouth, tears ran down her face. Morgan fist crunched up so tightly his knuckles went white. The team all sat the frozen as two of there friends have been kidnapped. "Oh god, they've been beaten..." Said Emily.

"Would you like to say hello to you're fellow team mates back at the BAU. Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, Emily Preniss, Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi" The man spoke, his voice broke but there was something about it, that didn't quite fit. "How does he know all our names?" Morgan said, Garcia walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder, Morgan took her hand in his and help it tightly as see quietly cried to herself. In response to Derek's question Hotch just shrugged unable to take his eyes off the monitor, off Reid. "So I guess your all wondering what's going on, well, as you all know you team member is a sinner, a dirty human being, a monster of creation, a sham...a dirty faggot!" The man never faced the camera, only seeing the back off him which isn't going to help his team in looking for him or finding out who he is. "Wait, Hotch, There..." it was Rossi who walked to the monitor and pointed at the kidnappers arm, it was all burnt and scared...

"He's been burnt..." Hotch said "It gives us something for the profile.

"Profile? But Hotch are you not going to Pakistan?" asked JJ.

"How can I? Reid is more important at the moment...let's keep watching" Hotch, with his head nodded back to look at the screen. The man had disappeared just leaving a clear image of Reid and Jason. Reid's head was bent down as if he was passed out and Jason, Jason just didn't blink, fear had taken over his whole body. The man came back with a trolley covered by a blue sheet, he placed it right in front off the camera and pulled away the sheet which hidden the contents. Different knives and blades off all sizes lined up one never to another, but right at the end stood a needle alone...

"Oh God I can't watch" Garcia spoke, her voice broke and cracked from where she has been crying. The man ran his hand alone the different types of weapons until the finally picked one, a long thin blade. First he walked over to Reid, he began to panic, struggling to get out of the ropes, pulling away from him. The man held him down and began stroking the blade along his arms, small but deep. Reid screamed in pain, the team watched as there co-worker was being tortured, Penelope and Jj unable to listen of the cry's cover there eyes and looked down. They couldn't turn it off as vital pieces of information could help them locate them. Reid carried on screaming as he added 5...6...7 more cuts over his body. "Look at how he's doing it..." said Morgan.

"What do you mean?" asked Rossi.

"He's missing all the vital veins in Reid's body"

"Right, so that means he must have some form of surgical back ground" Said Rossi.

"Think about it, from what he have seen he is covered in burns and scars, he knows his way around the body, missing all the main veins...what if he has a medical background?" Spoke Hotch. The team all looked at one another. "Garcia pull up any men betweens the ages of 30 and 40, with a medical background, who lost their jobs in the passed years but also who maybe highly religious" Hotch said.

"Sir why the last year?" Garcia questioned.

"Because they way he's acting, those burn marks are fresh, they look self inflicted and same with those scars, a whip maybe. Which makes me think that he is psychotic, he is thinking he is working under the powers of God and doing this for God, because if you notice he never looks at the boys when facing them but looking behind them like someone or something is standing behind them guiding him to do what he is doing. Because of this and his possible medical background may have been fired for his behaviour and violent nature, cause the stresser to lash out at sinners because he has been done wrong and now he must punish all those of wrong doings. Like Tobias Hankel"

"Yes Sir" As Garcia searched through her data bases for all the things Hotch told her 2 names came up. Michael Thorpe and Steven Fisher. "I got two sir" she said "But Steven Fisher passed away 2 months ago, Cancer"

"That's it we have our guy, Garcia pull up a photo for us" Garcia did so,

"The man Michael Thorpe was fired 3 months ago from St Helen's Central Hospital for trying to kill a gay man whilst in surgery, he was sent to court and never turned up, been on the run since"

"Does he have any storage units or anything under his name?" Hotch said not taking his eyes of the screen. The man hadn't touched Jason yet, but made him watch as he carved up his boyfriend. Whilst Garcia looked, Michael stepped away from Reid, blood dripped from the knife. Reid was breathing heavily, his face scrunched up trying to forget the pain then flooded his whole body once again.

Reid's P.O.V

I watched as the man walked back over to his trolley of blades and toys, my whole body burned and ached from the fresh carved wounds on my arms, blood trailed my arm and dripped from t]my fingertips onto the floor. I thought he would pick up a bigger knife, instead he picked up a long, thin needle. My eyes widened at the thought of needles, my habit with Dauladid was finished with the help of Jason but the thought of having the needle pump the liquid into my system wouldn't be to bad.

The man put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small vial of clear liquid..."So Reid, I hear who had a problem with Dauladid, here this should help with the pain" he walked over to Spencer, and for the first time since the guy had taken them he heard Jason's voice. "NO SPENCE, PLEASE DON'T!" Jason pleaded with me but I couldn't help it, I wanted it so badly, I want to feel the buzz it gives me as it floods my system, makes me forget everything even if it is just for a little while.

"I'm sorry" was I said before he broke my skin with the needle, and a wave of darkness poured over me.

The Team

They all watched as Reid happily took the drug, they watched as Michael pushed the needle into his skin, they felt hurt, he had just given up, they didn't even know he had a problem, they all had there suspicions but never thought it true. As Jason pleaded for him to stop, once he was done he back handed Jason round the face. "SHUT UP YOU QUEEN!"

"Garcia have you found anything yet?" Hotch turned to her quickly and almost yelled at her.

"Just waiting on it si...GOT IT! 2234 Fortbridge Avenue, Warehouse 9, West Virginia. Sending co-ordinates to you're phones now "

"That's just down the road, let's go" Hotch spoke as they all stood up and left the room. Leaving the monitor on.

"I'm gonna kill the son of a bitch" Morgan's voice was fuelled with anger and hatred, this man at tortured and best friend and brother in front of him and he wasn't going to take it any more.

As the team drove hastily to help Reid and Jason, unknowing about what is currently happening, just praying that their going to be okay.

They pulled up to the warehouse, FBI vests on and guns in hand. They walked around the building in search for a door, when they finally found it. "FBI" Morgan kicked in the door, right in front of his baring no weapon was there unsub. He didn't try to run, instead he grabbed one of the knifes of the trolley and plunged it into Jason's abdomen. "NOOOOO!" Cried Reid. "JASON!" Reid waking up only moments before watching his boyfriend get stabbed. Morgan ran to the unsub and pulled him to the ground "Michael Thorpe you're under arrest for the kidnapping of two FBI agents and the attempted murder of one, you son of a bitch" Morgan vigorously pulled Michael's hands behind his back and place cuffs on his wrists. "I don't care they are dirty, they shouldn't be aloud to live in this world, with there perverted nature and discusting lifestyle. Fucking Faggots shell burn in hell". Spoke Michael.

"You'll get there first" Morgan pulled him up and handed him over to two police officers who helped them with the raid. Morgan turned to see 2 Paramedics helping out Jason and another 2 with Reid. Reid tried pulling away to get to Jason but they wouldn't have it. Blood poured from Jason's wound on his chest, paramedics placed an oxygen mask on him and put temporary bandages round his wounds until they get him to hospital , he saw the blood pour from his boyfriend, he screams and screamed but they wouldn't let him near him. "Dr Reid we need to take you to hospital, you body is filled with dangerous drugs, please let us..." Reid cut them off.

"I DON'T CARE I NEED TO GET TO HIM NOW!" Cried Spencer.

"Please Dr, we need to treat you and get these drugs out of you"

"I don't care I'm use to it by now" not noticing his team were all looking and listen, to hear this, their hearts sank, but Reid didn't notice, his eyes were fixed on his loved one. He pulled and pulled tying to break free from the men's arms, tears fell from his eyes.

After a couple more minutes, the paramedics were able to calm Reid down and get him into the ambulance to take him to hospital. "Come on guys we better follow them up" Spoke Rossi as he took off his Vest.

"I can't believe he said that, about being use to having drugs in his system" Garcia spoke.

"He had a problem baby girl, and all we can do for him now is hope and help him get better, okay?"

"Okay" Morgan kissed Garcia on the forehead and they walked out of the horrific sight of the warehouse to there cars. The blaring of the ambulance sirens trailed off into the distance.


	8. Chapter 8

REID'S P.O.V

 _"No please, I don't want it, please" I begged Tobias not to give me the drug, he tied a belt around my upper arm to help see the veins, I begged and begged some more, but he wouldn't listen. I felt the sharp tip of the needle scratch at my skin, I could feel the cold liquid flow through me. My eyes rolled back and a wave of darkness took over..._

As I begun to wake up, my eyes were heavy, bright pale light hurt them, I could hear voices around me, it was JJ and Morgan. I tried to move my body but it was a struggle, like someone was holding me down, not letting me move. I tried and tried, my eyes opened wider and my sight slowly went back to normal. I was in a hospital room, the walls painted a dull beige, the smell of antiseptic and the sound of rushing doctors. I moved my head and tried to pull myself up..."Hey, not to fast you" It was JJ leaning over me, she held my hand in hers, it was so warm. Her smile, was fake. I might just be waking up, but I know JJ well enough to know that she is hurting and not letting me see it. "What happened? My body..." I tried moving again but they wouldn't let me.

"Come on pretty boy, you need to rest" Morgan voice was soft and caring, I missed it.

"What happened? I remember...OH GOD JASON!" I started panicking remembering that my boyfriend was stabbed and taken away.

"Hey, Hey, Hey calm down, he's okay, he hasn't long come out of surgery but he's going to be okay" I wiped the tears that strolled down my face, I pulled myself up so I was sitting instead of lying down, hate people looking down on me like I'm a victim. I mean I know I am but doesn't mean I like the feeling. "What happened?" I asked.

"Michael the unsub when he stabbed Jason he tore a lot of him muscle and they needed to stitch it back, there was a few complications with the proceger, he bleed out a little" I eyes widened, I could feel the tears once again form. "But he is okay, they managed to stop the bleed, he's still under anesthetic, but he be around soon" Morgan spoke.

"I want to see him, please can I see him?" JJ smiled.

"I will speak to the doctors" With that, JJ left the room, leaving the two boys alone.

"What happened to me Morgan?" Derek pulled up one of the chairs that was sat in the corner of the room.

"When they put Jason into the ambulance you were hysterical and they couldn't get you to calm down, so they gave you something just to calm you down, but because of the drugs in you're system already you heart couldn't take it and it failed, they had to restart your heart. Gave us all a pretty big scare to be honest" Without thinking put my hand in the crease of my arm, a bandage had been put over it, I could still feel the needle being pushed in. Morgan looked at me with sad eyes..."I think we need to talk pretty boy, don't you" I just nodded. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"About what?"

"You know what Reid" I looked down, I felt ashamed, I never wanted them to find out this way, watching as I accepted the drug, watch me as it over took my body, the pleasure it gave me. "I was ashamed of myself"

"We could have helped you" Morgan moved to sit on the bed, I moved my legs giving him enough space. At this point I didn't realize that JJ had returned...with most of the team, all stood outside my room door. "I had help, Jason helped me"

"But why didn't you ask us?"

"How could I Morgan, how could I tell you that I wanted to be rid of my thoughts, that I wanted everything to disappear, or that the feeling of it cried out to me. I wanted to disappear Morgan okay, is that what you wanted to hear" I could see Morgan's face change from sadness to feeling sorry for me. "You mean..."

"Yes Morgan, I wanted to die" I know it was harsh but It just came out, like word vomit.

TEAM'S P.O.V

Hearing those words that Reid said was like a stabbed to their hearts, JJ was crying and so was Garcia, Rossi just looked sympathetic and Hotch, looked like Hotch. They still stood at the door trying to listen to what else they were saying. "Reid you didn't mean that?"

"Didn't I? How would you know? I'm nothing but a kid to you, nothing but annoying and in the way. I know what you and the others thing of me, that I am the child of the group, that I talk about stuff that you guys don't care about" Reid's voice became either more, and more filled with anger.

"You are the kid of the group Reid, you're the youngest out of all of us, and we love it when you ramble, yes sometimes were not interested but that's you, and no matter what we still love you Reid" Reid settled down, looking down at his hands which were entwined with another. "Reid I need to ask you a serious question" Reid looked him dead into the eyes. "Did you ever try and you know, harm yourself?" The team all looked at one another, they now all know Reid wanted to die but whether or not he tried to kill himself is another matter. Reid didn't say anything he just sat there, silently. "Reid please, did you or not?" Reid looked Morgan in the eyes, tears formed and he couldn't stop them, looking down again to his hands, and nodded. Morgan just looked at him, the team all in shock, hearing, and well seeing him admit to trying to end his life hit them hard. They didn't want to go in just yet, they wanted to hear if he had anything else to say. "Why man? Why would you do that to yourself? Better question, when?" Reid looked up. "2 Months ago"

"WHAT?" Morgan raised his voice with shock. "2 months ago, Reid why didn't you tell us?"

"I couldn't, I told Jason that he shouldn't tell you guys, he didn't know you then, but he knew where to find you and I couldn't have you finding that I was gay and tried to kill myself in one night can I" Morgan just shook his head. He took Reid's hand in his. "How?"

"Morgan please no more questions".

"How Reid"

"Overdose" Morgan placed his hands over his face, rubbing it. Why people do that, I will never know. "How didn't we spot this?"

"I can hid things well remember" Reid gave a weak smile.

"Wait, is that the week when you said you were in Las Vegas visiting your mum?" Reid nodded again. Morgan stood up pacing the room. "How could we be so blind?"

"Morgan so pitting yourself"

"Pitting myself? My best mate tried to kill himself and I didn't even realize"

"Well you didn't know I was gay either..."Reid sniggered.

"This isn't funny Reid, this is serious"

"Well I'm fine now okay, can I just go visit Jason please" I tried getting out of bed but Morgan pushed me back down, catching the top of my arm. "hsss" ( the sound when you breath in when something hurts). Reid pulled his arm away. Morgan didn't even asked just pulled the sleeve of his hospital gown up, revealing new and old cuts and scars all over Reid's upper arm. Morgan didn't say anything, Reid pushed him away and pulled in down quickly, Morgan, Morgan just walked out. The team all looked at Reid as he held his arm, the tears that formed earlier now began to fall. JJ walked into the room. "Spence..."

"GET OUT!" JJ stared at him, shocked. "I SAID GET OUT!" With that, Reid grabbed the glass of water from his bedside table and throw it at the wall near JJ, making her jump and scream slightly. He closed the door and left him with himself.

"What are we going to do?" The team all sat in the waiting room with cups of hot drinks in their hands. "I don't know. Why did Morgan just walk out?"

"I think he saw Reid's arm" Hotch spoke, his voice still and deep.

"What do you mean Hotch?" Asked JJ.

"He, um, Reid, I think he cuts himself" The team didn't know how to react to this, they have heard stuff they have never imaged from Reid today, this was just icing on top of the cake. "How can you be sure?" Asked Garcia, her voice so sweet and innocent.

"When we shared a room together a little while back whilst on a case, he would always get changed in the bathroom. One day he forgot to close the door slightly, and when I was walking past I saw a glimpse of him in the mirror. I could see scars and fresh cuts all on his arms. I walked away before he came out, I didn't get a real good look"

"Why didn't you say anything?" It was Morgan, he was back, too with a hot cup of coffee in his hands.

"Where did you go?" Asked Hotch.

"I needed air, it was too much" Answered Morgan.

"What happened?" Asked Garcia.

"Well you guys heard most of it did you not?" They all looked down. "I knew you were at the door, and I think Reid did too" He sipped his coffee. "Answer me Hotch, why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to unless I knew for myself, I didn't want to get you guys worried and question him when it wasn't true".

"But now we know it is..." Replied Morgan. Hotch just shook his head, hoping that it wasn't true, that Reid wouldn't do something like that to himself. "So he does" Morgan Nodded.

"He needs help Hotch"

"Yeah I know, but how do we tell him?"

"Hotch, he needs it, 2 months ago he tried taking his own life and we never new, he does horrible things to his body, the boy is clearly depressed Hotch and he needs Help. He has hidden so much from us over the past couple of years, how do we know there isn't anything else he's hiding?" The team all looked over to Reid's room. They could see only slightly through his window, he was just sat on his bed, with his hands covering his face, clearly crying.

They carried on talking for another good half an hour until they saw the doctor walk into Reid's room, which they followed of course. "Dr Reid, Mr Campbell is awake now if you would like to go see him?" Reid nodded. The doctor brought over a wheelchair, helping Reid into it, still too weak to walk. She led him down the corridor, completely ignoring his team mates as he past.

JASON'S P.O.V

As I opened my eyes, the light bleeding, my vision was blurry. The sound of people rushing, the sound of my own heartbeat, the sharp pain that travelled through my abdomen was almost indescribable. Tubes and wires trailed out of me like snakes. "Hello Mr Campbell, finally awake I see".

NORMAL P.O.V

The doctor lead Reid down the corridor, pushing him in his wheelchair, the walkways were crowed with people and families, some crying and hugging each other; clearly just lost a loved one, others smiling and looked relieved but some was just sat there in silence waiting for news, whether it bad or good. It felt like the doctor was pushing Reid for a long time, not really taking note that Jason was only 2 doors down from him. "Mr Campbell, you have a visitor" Jason looked up, weak as he was, holding his stomach as it hurt to move and smiled. "Spence". The doctor helped Reid onto his feet and he embraced his boyfriend. He almost forgot what he has smelt like, the feel of his hair, his skin on his and even how happy he made him when he was with him. "OUCH!" Jason cried.

"I'm sorry" Reid moved back but Jason didn't let him, only pulling him in tighter.

"I've missed you"

"And I you, don't ever worry me like that again okay" Reid smiled as he placed his hand on Jason's cheek, tears fell free, not noticing the team had followed him and were waiting for him, watching through the window. Reid stroked his cheek and slowly lend down, placing his lips onto Jason's. They still taste of coffee beans and caramel, but now of blood also. The team watched as there team mate kissed his lover, they haven't actually seen any of this yet, so took them all by surprise, seeing Reid kiss another man was odd for them but they knew Reid was happy and that didn't bother them. As Reid pulled away Jason smiled more not realizing that there tears had entwined with another. Spencer once again place his hand on Jason's cheek to wipe away his fresh, salty tears. "Please don't cry" Reid pleaded.

"I am crying because I am happy, slightly in pain but happy" Reid pushed his hair away from his face and lent in to kiss his forehead. "I am sorry Dr Reid but you must leave now, Mr Campbell needs to be checked over and needs rest, you can come back later" Reid nodded, kissing his lover one finally time and letting the nurse lead him away in his wheelchair.

It had been nearly a week since both Reid and Jason were found and taken to hospital, finally it was time for them both you leave. All the drugs had left Reid's system and Jason's wound had healed nicely; still going to take time for them both to heal fully physically and mentally, with what they both went through, the nurses had told Hotch and everyone else that a few times Dr Reid had woken in the night screaming and calling for Jason, sweating, crying and panicking, most nights they had to give him sedatives to help him sleep. But truly Reid craved the drug, he wanted to feel the sensation of it flow through his veins again, to feel the buzz and high it gives him, to feel free and not be trapped my his own memories. Reid sat waiting on his bed for JJ and Morgan who come to pick them both up, they were currently down the hall signing the release papers for them both. Reid sat unsteady on his bed, rubbing at the scars where the needle had broken his skin, he longed for the drug, but he knows now that he cannot, for his team and for Jason. He was shaking, withdrawal time was the worse for Reid, he panic a lot but the only things that helps him calm down is what he shouldn't have.

Morgan and JJ were talking to Reid's doctor just getting all the information they need to put in the records for when they do all the paperwork later on. "Reid has been struggling these last couple of days, as you know he has been having rather vivid nightmares, waking up screaming. But that's not all, he didn't want me to mention it to you but I think it's in his best nature. You need to keep an eye on him over the next few days, he is current showing signs of withdrawal, and for the drug that was put in to the Doctor's system is the worse and most painful for come downs. He had few up a few times last night, shaking and sweating, he wouldn't take anything that we offered him for help" JJ and Morgan looked at one another and back at the nurse, nodding, showing they now what she is trying to tell them. "So what you're saying is, that Reid can go back onto them at any point?" Asked JJ.

"Indeed. With the symptoms that the Doctor has been showing, it's more than 45% chance they he will fall victim to the drug again. If you can keep him away from it just for 3 more days, the withdrawal should have passed and the drugs completely out of his system".

"Thank you for everything you have done". Morgan shook the doctor's hand and walked down corridor. "Hey man, you ready to go" but it seemed like Reid didn't hear them, they looked at one another, he was just sat there on his bed, looking right in front of him, starring into nothing. It's like he couldn't see them at all, like they were just a flicker in his blind spot. But then Jason turn up at the door, limping as he walked. "You guys okay?" They didn't say anything they just pointed to Reid. Jason had seen this before, he walked past them and sat next to Reid, he took his hand in his, he placed his hand under his chin and slowing turned it towards him. The other two didn't really know what he was doing but they let him get on with it. He smiled and just let Reid take a moment to realise what was happening, when he finally snapped out of it and smiled. "Jason"

"Hello you"


	9. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTOR'S NOTE**

I would just like to say thank you to everyone who is reading/following my story. It means a lot to me to see so many people interested in my story. It would be awesome if you could comment what you think, what could be done to improve, even what you hated. I like to hear what people think, to make me a better writer. I am on Wattpad – Hannah_Tardis_West If you want to check out my work, it's the same stories plus my Malec fanfic. Comment there is if like to, share it, get it know. I love seeing people take an interest in my work. Thank you everyone and new chapters will be up as soon as possible


	10. Chapter 9

It was dark when they left the hospital, the moon at peak in the midnight blue sky, stars illuminated it like a thousand candles. The air was cold and the street silent, it was nearly midnight so barely anybody would be out at this time, the only noise came from the cars passing by or the nightclub which was just down the road, music blaring and people talking rather quiet loudly.

Spencer, who had said nothing for the past 3 hours, stared gormlessly into the darkness. His long purple scarf draped over his shoulder, his long brown hair was slightly tangled amongst it, the black cotton coat was being taken by the wind as it waved behind him like a superhero's cape. But his hand, his fingers were entwined with Jason's; warm. Jason was still struggling to walk so was given a crutch to steady him as his wound fully heals. Wearing a black shirt with a black, silky scarf hung loosely by his collar bones, tight skinny jeans with a couple of ripped holes here and there, and a dark grey beanie flopped on his head hiding his dark brown hair. Jason despite looking dapper in a suite and tie, he always did have an alternative fashion, this was rare for an FBI agent, normally they dressed rather well, but Jason just dressed like he should be in an indie rock band. Walking hand in hand, they headed towards Derek's car which was parked in the hospitals car park, neither of them are allowed to drive so they have to be driven everywhere by one of there team mates. "You guys okay?" Asked JJ.

"Yes we're good thanks JJ" Jason looked over to Reid who was staring still into the darkness. "Spencer?" Jason gave him a slight nudge, which made him jump slightly like he was daydreaming. "Did you hear JJ?" He shook his head.

"I asked how you were" JJ repeated. Reid just nodded, and carried on staring into the dark, slightly illuminated streets. Jason just gave JJ a half smile, half saying 'we're okay' and the other half saying 'He needs help'. He gave JJ one finally hug before she got into her car, gave Reid one finally look of concern, and drove away.

"Right, you guys ready to head home?" It was Morgan, he was waiting for them by his car, which looked almost a green in the street lamp light, but it was black, as it was an FBI rental car. "Yeah, we're good. Sure you're okay with driving us home?"

"Yeah course man, how you feeling Pretty Boy?" Reid once again didn't respond. It was like he wasn't there, he wasn't with it. The drugs were still slightly in his body and it will take a while for them to fully wear off, which isn't helping him now as he is in withdrawal. Reid has already been through this a few times in the past, as he slipped back into them a few times. Jason looked at Reid with worry, because he new that this could happen again, and it could be even worse then before.

The clock stuck 4, and Reid was tossing and turning in the bed, Jason was fast asleep, but despite the fact that he has done everything to try and get off to sleep, his body just seems so awake. Giving up, Reid pulled the covers off of him and climbed out of bed. The morning sun was beginning to awake, blue, yellow like light shone through the cracks in the curtains, shinning straight into Reid's eyes, he blinked quickly, moving away from the light, like a vampire in the day. He walked over to the bathroom and opened the door, turning back to look at his sleeping lover. He looks so beautiful Spencer thought, why do I always have to mess things up. Closing the door behind him.

Spencer stared at himself in the mirror, but he wasn't looking at his reflection, he was looking through himself, looking at what he has become, what he depends on. The thought of the needle pushing into his arm, the cold liquid of the Dauladid running through his veins was driving him insane. His whole body ached, his head was spinning and his stomach, his stomach was in agony, the feeling of being sick caused his body. His eyes began to water, sweating and burning, a shooting pain shot through him like a bullet. Spencer covered his mouth and his belly and he bent down at the toilet and throw up everything he had eaten today (even though it wasn't a lot).

He slumped down next to the loo, as he cried, tears streamed from his red eyes, shinning as they ran down his face. One hand was on his head and one over his mouth as he tried to muffle the sound of him crying, trying not to wake up Jason. He leaned against the wall as once again pain flooded his entire body. Becoming restless, and irritable, Spencer stood up, head spinning, body feeling weak, he pulled himself up onto his feet. His hands on the sink as once again he stared at himself in the mirror, but he doesn't recognised the person staring back at him. He turned on the cold tap and slashed his face with water, trying to freshen himself up, but it didn't work, he still looked a mess, still looked like...an addict. With that, in one fell swing, Spencer punched his mirror, shattering the glass into millions of tiny little pieces, blood covered his knuckles, he stared back at the now broken mirror, only one piece of glass remained, looking at him self, Spencer collapsed to the floor in tears. As he cried, not covering the sounds that escaped his mouth, the bathroom door opened, and Jason was standing in the frame.

The morning was a hard a one, after only getting 2 maybe 3 hours of sleep tops, Spencer wasn't in the best of moods, throwing the alarm clock at the wardrobe door and breaking it after it kept going off, this, waking up Jason. "Spence?" Jason turned over, Reid was sat on the edge of the bed, just staring at the wall. "Spence?" Jason said again, this time reaching for his hand, but Reid pulled away from him, standing up and heading to the bathroom. "Come on Spencer, speak to me" Without a single word, Reid slammed the bathroom door behind him. Jason placed his hands on his head and sighed, he didn't know what to do, these are all signs of withdrawal, he want's to help Spencer, but how? He has tried every way he could think of but nothing is working, they are just becoming more and more distant. Jason slowly hauled himself out of bed, giving a slight wince as he did so, grabbed hold of his stomach, feeling the bandages wrapped around him tightly. Images flashed through his mind of what happened that day, going so quickly, replaying over and over again, and before he new it, Spencer was walking out of the bathroom fulled showered and dressed. Jason just sat and thought to himself, 'How long was I thinking?'

Spencer was dressed slightly different today, still wearing his tight work trousers and a dark purple shirt, and a dark grey tie. But this time his sleeved were rolled down, covering his arms. Spencer always had his sleeved rolled up, never had Jason seen him with them down. Yes, it's silly but Spencer really doesn't like change, even with his own clothing, everything had to be the same, and with this little change, something really must be wrong.

Reid had to take the tube to work today as him nor Jason were allowed to drive, Morgan offered to pick him up but Reid refused and told him he'd rather catch the tube, and the the moment no one really wanted to argue with him, so just let him do his own thing. The tube's were busy as usual, everyone going to work, or school and college. The tube was so packed that Reid was lucky to be so skinny. The cart was filled with noisy commuters, talking away or listening to music at stupidly high volumes. Spencer on the other hand just sat there, looking straight ahead, but wasn't looking at anything at the same time, just staring right through everything, like nothing was there. He was in his own little world, a world were Reid was trapped and no one knew how to help him out of it. The cold winter's air was like ice to breath but beautifully fresh, if you ignore the polluted filled air from cars and houses. Spencer was wrapped up nice and warm, his long black coat; which waved in the breeze like a sinister cape, his long purple scarf wrapped around his neck, and a grey beanie flopped on his head. Reid stopped and smiled, he smelt the air, the cold air felt amazing but it was a smell of roasted coffee beans. Starbucks.

Reid knew he was late for work, he knew that he should care but in his head, he could give a toss. It was nearly 8 when Spencer Finally walked into the ball pen, he could see everyone was up in the conference room. He held the war cup of coffee in his hands and sipped on it as he walked up to the room. He head was spinning, it was either from the lack of sleep or because he was craving what he shouldn't be craving.

"3 young girls all abducted 5 days apart but Katie was different, the unsubs are picking up speed, she was taken only a day apart from the last victim" JJ was talking as the door opened and Reid walked in. He looked a mess. Everyone turned there heads to look at him. Normally, if Reid is late he rushes in, panicking and apologising for being late, but this time he just swayed in, coffee in hand and not giving a care in the world. No one n knew what to say to him, he wasn't even meant to be back at work, he only got out of hospital last week. Reid took a seat next to Emily, taking off his coat and placing it on the back of his chair. His long sleeves still rolled down. "...anyway, our last victim is believed to have been to have been taken between the hours of 3.15pm and 4.00pm. This is the period she was walking home from school..."JJ carried on talking but still kept on looking over to Reid. Who seemed like was wasn't even listening. He legs were crossed and the case file placed on top of them, he kept playing with the bottom of his chin, but what they couldn't stop noticing was Reid scratching the the fold in his arm. Morgan and Hotch looked at each other before looking back at Reid. "So..." Morgan spoke, still eyes fixed on Reid. "She was taken on her way home from school like all the other victims?"

"Yes, but this one seems different, the last victims were a lot younger. Jackie was 7, Abi 8 and Lucy was 8. But Katie she's 16 years old. The unsub has changed his MO. All the girls were between the ages of 7 and 8 but Katie is 9 years older then them. But she goes to the same school, walks the same way home as the other girls, so what changed? What caused the unsub to go completely off what he is use to and steal a more high risk victim in broad daylight?" JJ responded. "Something must have happened that made him change from younger to older. Because the younger girls, when walking to the park were all said to believe to have been approached and walked off with a man who was looking for his dog, but Katie, being older, she would have been harder to take"

"Unless he is panicking, knows where onto him, or either that she was just in the wrong place and the wrong time and he needed his fix but he knew that with the media warning the locals about the man, it would be harder for him to take another little girl, she he needed a victim that know one would have suspected" Emily said.

"Well, NYPD are waiting for us. Wheels up in 10" said Hotch, all standing and packing up, but not Reid. Reid was still just sat there staring at the victims photos. "Spence?" It was JJ.

"Hmm" Reid responded, not even looking up.

"Everything okay?" Reid just nodded, he stood up, taking his coat from the back of the chair and just walked out. "What's going on with him?" Morgan was now stood next to JJ.

"I don't know, but I am really worried about him. Morgan, it hasn't even been a week yet, surely he shouldn't be back at work just yet?"

"Hotch tried to tell him and even threatened to suspend him, but somehow Reid was able to persuade Hotch to let him start work again"

"But what about Jason? He's still resting right?" Morgan shrugged.

"I don't know, haven't heard anything, tried calling over there the other night and no answer, I tried texting Reid to seeing how everything is going, and again, no answer. This is the first time I have seen him since the hospital" JJ followed Reid with her eyes as he walked into the men's toilets.

Reid's hands were shaking has he placed them down on the sink, he looked in the mirror, despite having a shower and getting himself sorted, he still looked like a mess. His hair was all over the place, his tie, wonky, and he had big, purple bag sat under his eyes. He splashed his face with water, but it didn't help with anything. He knew what he needed but he couldn't, not here, not at work. He pulled at his bag and searched inside with his hand, until he pulled out a single vial filled half way with clear liquid. Last night, when Jason was asleep, he knew what he needed, he paced up and down the living room for well over an hour, shaking, talking to himself, turning into a mad man, he knew that if he didn't get his fix soon then all hell is going to break loose. Spencer head shoot up, remembering that when he first starting taking the drugs, he hid a vial in his bookshelf so that no one could find it. Darting to the bookshelf, he reached for a book from the 2nd from bottom shelf, 4th book in. It's binder was a deep, dark red with gold stitching and single, blacking lettering spelling out 'The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner'. Spencer had already read this book over 50 times and didn't see no use for it now. He opened it up and flicked through the pages. After page 143, Spencer had cut out a little square in the pages which sat a little vial of Dailaudid. Taking it out and placing the book back on the shelf, Spencer just stood there, moonlight fell through the gap in the curtains which created shadows around the room, the room fell silent. All sounds that you couldn't hear without really listening for them, now echoed the room, the water dripping from the tap, the wind blowing the curtains where the window was left partly open, and the sound of the clocking ticking as it hit 3am. And Spencer just stood there, staring at the vial.

"Spencer were leav..." Morgan walked into the toilets, Spencer jumped and quicked placed the vial back into his bag. "What's that?" Morgan asked.

"It's nothing" Spencer said heading towards the door, but Morgan wouldn't let him, he grabbed Spencer's arm before he could walk off. "Let me ask you again Reid, what was that you were holding a second ago?" Morgan looked at Reid, and Reid was looking at him, normally Morgan could tell how Spencer was feeling but not this time, this time when Morgan looked into Reid's eye's he sees nothing, not one strand of emotions. "Get off me Morgan" Spencer voiced raised, loud enough that the other's could hear him, and were now all looking at the pair. "Come on Reid man, what's wrong, you've been off all week?" Morgan questioned.

"I don't know Morgan, may be due to the fact that just under a month ago, me and my boyfriend were kidnapped, tortured and drugged? May THAT has something to do with why I a weird" Reid's face was red with anger.

"Yes, I know but there is something different, something that your not telling us"

"MORGAN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY BUSINESS? Hmmm?" Reid shouted.

"Because Reid, I am worried about you, I know how your feeling right now, I do"

"You do, do you? Me and my boyfriend, who you might I add have only just even knew existed, were kidnapped and tortured. I watched as a stranger beat and hurt the man I love, watched him and heard him cry out in pain and he sliced open his skin with a red hot knife, sat there as he called out my name in pain and all I could do was watch, watch the man who I love, tortured for loving differently. No Morgan, who have NO idea what I am going through" Reid didn't say another word, he pushed past Morgan, passed everyone else who had just heard everything that had been said, all stared at him as a he walked past as like they weren't even there and got into the elevator. Morgan walked towards the others..."What was that all about?" Asked Emily.

"I don't really know, but what I do know is that, he's in trouble" All at once the teamed all looked over at the elevator as the doors close, closing on, on Spencer Reid.

Sorry it has taken me so long to publish a new chapter guys (nearly a year in fact) but a lot has happened in that time. I've been busy at college and work, and been sorting my own health out. I hope all my readers can understand.

Anyway, I really hope you like this new chapter, isn't amazing, but really wanted to get something new out for you guys. Thank you all so much for the reads, comments and votes. They all mean so much to me and help me write this fanfiction.

Hannah


	11. Chapter 10

*WARNING - THIS CHAPTER HAS MILDLY EXPLICIT CONTENT...READ AND BE WARNED...IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN...I DID WARN YOU AND TOLD YOU NOT TO READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE*

The moment that Spencer walked into the elevator that he had regretted everything that he had just said to Morgan, but he was angry and upset, and was craving Dauldadid. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face, he didn't need any of this, not now.

Morgan and the others headed towards the jet, they were all quit. After hearing everything that Reid had just said, they didn't know quite how to react, so no one said anything. They all step on the jet expecting not to see Reid, but he was there, sat at the back with his head in a book, not looking up when they all walked on; and no one said anything to him. They all took there seats ready for the jet to leave.

"Right shell we go over the case files?" Spoke Hotch. "Reid, you joining us?" Reid looked up, not replying, he just walked over to his team mates and sat down next to JJ, avoiding all eye contacting with anyone, especially Morgan. "Right, so what's first?" Asked Hotch.

"We know that he has a type, that he takes young girls on there way home from school, but he has broken his pattern, panic maybe?" Said Emily.

"Maybe, but why did he panic? What caused him to take a drastic turn in his MO?"

"Maybe, after hearing on the news that we have discovered what he was up to, maybe that caused him to panic and change what he was doing, throwing us on the trail?" Questioned JJ.

"Yeah, that could be it, but it is such a major change, grab of opportunity maybe?" Answered Morgan.

"Or maybe he is just escalating..." It was Reid, everyone turned to look at him, he still has his head down, but replaced his book with the case file. "What do you mean Spence?" Asked JJ.

"Well, maybe he was just working up to what he really wanted. He started off young and has slowly been moving up, maybe his real aim is..." Before Reid could finish what he said, he covered is mouth and ran to the back of the plane, and into the toilets. Down on his knees, with his head over the bowl as he threw up the only thing that was in his stomach...coffee. His entire body ached, his head was spinning and his hands, shaking. It has been over 24 hours without any of 'that' in his system, and he needed it. *Knock, knock* "Spence, are you okay?" It was JJ, her voice was always soft and soothing, as much as he didn't want to speak, he didn't want to ignore her either. So he lied. "Yeah JJ, I'm fine, just ate a dodgy dinner last night I think" Lying through the skin of his teeth, he hadn't eaten a dodgy Chinese, he needed Dauladid and he needed it now. "Alright Spence, let me know okay, do you want any water?"

"No, I'm okay, honestly" Lying again.

"Okay Spence, I'll be back to check on you if you're not out in 5 minutes" Said JJ but Spencer didn't reply. "Is he okay?" Asked Emily.

"I don't know, he said he thinks he ate something dodgy last night"

"Bullshit" It was Morgan. Everyone turned and looked at him.

"What do you mean?" It was Hotch.

"Well we all know he's lying, he didn't eat a dodgy dinner last night, he needs something else" Everyone knew what he was on about but didn't say it. "Why do you say that Morgan?" Asked JJ.

"This morning when we got into that heated argument. I walked in on him with something in his hand, when I tried to confront him about it, he lied and started getting all defensive"

"So what, you think he's taking again?" JJ's voice was softer than normal, you can tell what Morgan was saying was upsetting her, Reid is like a brother to her and knowing that he is thinking of doing 'that' thing again, broke her heart.

"Most liking yes, if not, contemplating it at least..."

"But why?" Asked Emily.

"He was beaten and tortured for nearly 3 days, all for how he is, and drugged for the matter of fact, he's going to be craving, he's going to want to feel that again" Everyone fell silent, and in good time too because Spencer emerge from the toilet wiping his mouth, the team all tried not to stare but they couldn't after what Morgan had just said, they didn't know what to do. "How you feeling bud?" It was Morgan, but Reid didn't say anything to him, just nodded his head. JJ stood up and fetched him a glass of water. "Here"

"Thanks JJ" He sipped on the water as he hands shock, enough for them all to notice it. He noticed and put the glass down. No one knew quite what to do, do they bring it up? or just stay quite? either way someone is going to have to say something to him soon, otherwise god knows what can happen to him.

They flight didn't take to long as most of them fell asleep, including Reid. It had already gone midnight by the time they landed in New York, despite the fact nearly all of them slept on the plane, they were all still very tiered. "Right, we'll head over to the hotel and meet again in the lobby at 8" Every all nodded at once.

Spencer was sharing a room with Morgan, he wasn't to please about it but it's not like he can share with one of the girls. Well he probably could to be honest, it's not like anything is going to happen, he is gay after all. Morgan drove them to the hotel, the car ride was awkwardly quite. Once they reached the room, Spencer headed straight to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Morgan just placed his bags down on his bed, and collapsed onto it himself. He could he the water running from the shower, he thought about Spencer, what's going on in his mind, how could he help him? does he even need help? is Derek just over thinking things and Spencer is actually okay. But he couldn't answer all those by himself, he needed to talk to Spencer even if Spencer didn't want to talk.

Spencer was once again stood in front of a mirror, starring at himself, thinking about the events of today. What happened back in Quanico, and on the jet. He didn't know how to face Morgan. Spencer knew that Morgan must know something by now, he did walk in on him holding a vial of Dauladid. Spencer turned from the mirror, he took off his shirt, and the long sleeved t-shirt that was underneath. He stared at the small circled masks that covered the fold on his right arm. Marks on where the needle had pierced his skin, filling his veins with the cold liquid. These thoughts really wasn't helping him, he knew he had a vial in his bag but he couldn't, if the team find out he could really lose his job this time. He stopped thinking about it and jumped into the shower, feeling the warm, fresh water falling onto his skin felt amazing, if only he had Jason he to share it with him. His thoughts changed from Dauladid to Jason. The thought of having his hands run over his body, his body against his, his touch. Before Reid knew it, he had turned himself on. Without thinking he cradle his new hardened length in his hand, pumping to the thought of Jason, completely forgetting that Morgan was only in the next room. He knew he should stop but it felt so good, he wanted Jason, to feel him inside him. It was driving him crazy. Spencer kept going and going, his head falling back as he took in the orgasm that will soon take over his body. A small moan slipped from his lips, his body began to shake, and before he knew it, he had shot hot cum all over his hand and the wall. He starts gasping for air, body shaking in excitement, he was breathing rather heavily, he turned off the shower and got out, hoping that Morgan had fallen asleep and didn't hear what he was doing. He didn't need anymore embarrassment not after today.

The room was all dark when he stepped out from the bathroom, dressed in his night clothes, he half expected Morgan to be asleep, but his head hadn't be touched. A slight cress in the sheets from when he jump straight onto it, but he, himself was absent. Reid took this opportunity to have a sneaky smoke outside the front lobby. Spencer had been smoking since he first came off Dauladid, he needed something else to calm his nerves when he needed it. Jason knows, but t doesn't bother him, because he smokes too. But Reid didn't see the point in letting his team know because he knows exactly what they will do. "6 minutes..." it's what he use to say to his mother to stop her from smoking, it makes him a bit of a hypocrite to be honest, but at this time he didn't really care, he hasn't had one all day and needed one badly. It was either that or Dauladid.

Morgan was sat at the bar with JJ, Emily and Rossi, all having a drink. It was late but none of them could sleep. "Morgan what's up, you look ill?" Asked JJ.

"It's nothing" Replied Morgan. But JJ was right he had gone all pale, and he looked like he was about to pass out any moment. "Morgan? Come on tell us" JJ pleaded.

"I think I heard Reid..you know.." Morgan looked at them all, all having puzzled expressions on there faces. "Know we don't know Morgan that's why we are asking you" JJ smiled slightly, he was clearly embarrassed over something. "Reid was..."

"Spit it out man" This time Rossi spoke, taking a sip from his whisky glass.

"I think Reid was having a little fun in the shower" They all starred at him, they knew what he meant but couldn't quite get it. "You mean?" Morgan nodded.

"What makes you think that?" Asked Emily, who was trying her hardest not to laugh.

"I was sat on the bed resting, when i heard..."

"Yes.." They all move in closer.

"Reid moan and moan Jason's name..." With that they all starting laughing, clearly had a little to much to drink. Morgan didn't know what to say, he was a little embarrassed, so he necked down his drink.

After they had composed themselves and stopped laughing like little children, they all thought it was time to head back to the rooms to get some sleep ready for tomorrow. When they saw Spencer heading for the exist. Not knowing what to do, Morgan couldn't look him in the eye after what he heard..."I'll go. You guys head off to bed" It was Rossi. The other's all agreed and headed up to bed.

The New York air was cold, fresh snow covered the roads and sidewalks in a pure white blanket, the odd footprint here and there. Spencer cold see his breath every time he breathed. He lifted the cigarette to his mouth and lit it, the second of flame that came out the light warmed up his face, which instantly went cold the moment the flame went out. He took the first toke of his cigarette and breathed it back out, he knew it was bad for him, but god did it feel good. Spencer smoked at least half his fag before he heard a familiar voice..."Got a light?" He turned and saw Rossi stood next to him with a small version on a cigar placed between his lips. "David i..." Reid stuttered, not knowing what to say. "Yeah sure" Not what he was meant to have said but it's done now. He handed Rossi the lighter. Rossi lit up his cigar. "What's up kid?" Spencer just looked to the ground still smoking his fag. "Come one Reid, we can all see something is bothering you. Your argument with Morgan earlier, throwing up in the jet toilets and now I find out you smoke..."

"It's nothing"

"It's not nothing Reid, you've been funny with us all, all day, clearly something is bothering you. And if you keep it bottled up then you'll always be feeling how you are right now". Rossi always knew what to say, those right words that just made Reid trust him, he wasn't saying anything inspirational or that, just always tells him how it is, unlike everyone else, who say what they think he wants to hear. "I can't stop thinking about it" Spencer finally spoke.

"Can't stop thinking about what?"

"What happened earlier, with Morgan" Rossi sighed.

"You got upset, it's understandable. What happened to you want terrible, and you can't get over something like that so easily" Reid nodded. He knew he wasn't telling Rossi the full story but as long as he keeps this up and make Rossi believe that this is what's playing on his mind then he might stop asking questions. "I shouldn't have spoken to him like that, not in front of you guys, not in general for that matter" Reid took a last toke of his fag before he threw it on the ground. A sizzle came when the hot ash hit the snow, putting out the fag. "You said what you did in the heat of the moment, Morgan know's that, we all know that. We all know that in less than a month you're going to be okay, because we know you're not going to be. It will be hard, but I know that you can get over it"

"i'm not strong enough, not just for myself for Jason too" Spencer put his head down, fighting back the tears. "You are Spencer. You grew up helping you're mentally ill mother, went to high school at the age of just 12, you escaped what happen with Tobais and you beat a drug addiction. If that wasn't strong I don't know what is" Reid looked at Rossi, who was smiling at him. Spencer just pulled him in and gave him a hug, crying on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay, I promise" Rossi said as he rubbed Spencer's back.

It was way past 2 when Reid got back to the room. He was outside talking to Rossi to well over an hour. Talking about what they both get up to when there not working, and Rossi helping out Reid on how to apologise to Morgan. It was nice for Reid, he hadn't had anything like this since Gideon left. The room was just how he left it, dark. But this time Morgan was sleep in his bed, at least he think we was asleep. Reid got out of his clothes and back into his sweatpants and long sleeved t-shirt and climbed into bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light.

Morning came quicker than Reid had hoped for. The morning sun shone thought the gaps in the curtains, decorating the room in a bright orangey-yellow glow. Reid's clock rang 7 o'clock. He could hear the shower going, guessing Morgan was already up. He climbed out of bed and headed over to the little table in the corner of the room which had a little kettle and cups to make coffee. Making him and Morgan a hot cup. Only moments later Morgan emerged from the bathroom, water dripping down his face, where fresh clothing. "Morning" Said Reid. "I've made you a coffee" Morgan smiled.

"Thanks man, feeling better?" Reid nodded and handed him the hot cup. Reid grabbed his clothes and headed into the bathroom. He only had a quick shower this morning as he wanted to hurry downstairs and buy himself a proper cup if coffee, the one he had tasted bitter. When Spencer got out the shower, Morgan was waiting for him on the bed. "Hurry up man I'm starving" Reid smiled, he grabbed his messenger bag and they both headed downstairs together.

They got into the lobby and everyone was already there, sat at a table all drinking coffee and eating. They headed towards them and they all seem to start giggling like children. "Hey Spencer, did you have a nice shower this morning?" Reid looked at them all confused, Morgan put his hand over his face to hind his embarrassment. "Yeah..I did...thanks" Looking more confused and everyone starting laughing. "What's going on?"

"Like you don't know" Laughed Emily.

"No I don't" Reid was starting to get a little annoyed as no one was telling him the joke.

"Missing Jason?" Spoke Emily again, and like that, Reid knew exactly what they were going on about, and went bright red. Reid looked at Morgan to was avoiding eyesight. "I told you not to say anything" Morgan's voice was stern.

"Sorry but we couldn't help it" Emily said, still laughing. "It's funny"

"Look man, I'm sorry, I should had said something to you..." Said Morgan.

"No, instead you told the whole fucking team" Reid was not happy, and they all stopped laughing. "Do you know how embarrassing that is for me Morgan?"

"Come on man, we all do it" That comment didn't seem to help matters and Reid stormed off towards the coffee shop. The moment Reid was out of hearing range, they all starting laughing again. "So Morgan you actually heard Reid...ya know..." said JJ. Morgan nodded. "Because I thought you were joking last night but you actually heard Reid moan Jason's name in the shower?"

"Yes, okay" They all stopped laughing as Reid was coming back.

"And for a matter of fact, Morgan you shouldn't have been listening, you clearly enjoyed it" Reid and everyone else starting laughing...again. "I did not" Morgan got pissy. But he starting thinking about it...because what he never mentioned was the fact that whilst Reid was pleasuring himself in the shower, Morgan hearing it, got him slightly turned on. He didn't know why because he was straight but there was always something about Reid that made him feel kinda weird. If he turns round to Reid and say 'Yeah and it turned me on too' They'll probably think he's joking or have a go at him for taking the piss and that would really fuck off Reid.

The day dragged on and on, and they finally started to crack the case. It was deeming a bit hard on Reid, seeing the bodies of the young girls, knowing exactly how they felt. Hit him hard. They found a possible suspect...Matthew Fine, he works at a local bar just down town. Reid, Morgan and Emily headed down there to find more out about him, whilst Rossi, JJ and Hotch stayed back at the police station on webcam with Garcia to find more out about this Matthew character. Reid and the others turned up at the bar. It was dull looking, definitely not for everyone, just a mans local. They walked in and everyone stopped and looked at them. They all starred at them as they walked towards the bar. "Can I speak to who ever is in charge here?" Morgan said in a loud but stern voice. "Depends who's asking..." Comes a harsh voice from the back of the bar.

"I'm SSA Derek Morgan, these are SSA Emily Prentiss and Dr Spencer Reid from the FBI. Were looking for Matthew Pine"

"Yeah he works here, but why should we say anything to you guys?" The man was rude, he clearly didn't think much for authority figures.

"Matthew is believed to have kidnapped, rape and murder 3 young girls and another in his hostage" They man looks taken back, but still doesn't say anything. "They were 7 years old!" Morgan was starting to getting angry. The man was a bit shocked at this. "Matthew didn't seem the type".

"They never do till it happens..."Morgan Replied bluntly. "Round back, Matty has a locker, he gets pissed if anyone even goes near it" Morgan followed him round back while Spencer and Emily stay at the bar. "This your pretty lady then?" Asked a creepy man walking to the bar.

"No" Reid said bluntly.

"Why isn't this fine piece of work yours then? She not you're type?" Reid didn't respond, they both just ignore the man who clearly had to much to drink, he was close enough they could smell it on his breath. "How could you not want this fine piece?" The man grew closer and closer making JJ feel rather uncomfortable.

"Because she's not. And she isn't yours either so back away"

"Ooh think your a hard man do ya?" The man pushed Reid. "What are you then, some kind of faggot?" Reid didn't reply, only responded saying..."I will arrest you for assaulting a federal agent if you don't stop" Reid couldn't hide the fact that he was a little frightened.

"Avoiding the question there? So you are, a little fag" The man pushed passed Emily and was more or less touching Reid. "You like this? Standing this close to a man do ya?" The guys breath was strong then it was before.

"Actually I don't got for guys who act all tough in front of their buddies...you're clearly trying to prove something mate...sure your not the one into me?" Reid regretted what he said the moment it escaped his lips. "YOU FUCKING DIRTY FAGGOT" With that, the mans arm came swinging round right for Reid's face. With one punch, Reid was down, his buddies grabbed hold of Emily who was screaming Reid's name as the guy punched and kicked at Reid, calling him every name under the sun about being gay. Morgan came running in pushing passed the guys. Reid was on the floor, covered in his own bloody. "IF YOU DON'T STOP I WILL ARREST YOU ALL!" Morgan shouted so loudly that the next bar down could probably hear him. The man stopped and looked at Morgan. "Not my fault you've got this filth on your team...feel sorry for ya mate" Morgan just gave him a dirty look as he walked passed. He bent down to help Reid him. His face was all cut and bleeding, his arms had footprints on them and so did his shirt. Morgan needed to get him out there fast before he does something that he regrets. Morgan helped Reid to his feet and placed him down on one of the chairs at the bar. The bartender grabbed him an ice pack and handed it over to Morgan. "I'm really sorry about this, is there anything I can do?" The guy was being genuinely nice.

"I'm gonna call the guys I am working with to come and make an arrest, we have to get back but if you could wait and make sure this guy is still here by then, that would be brilliant". The barman nodded.

"The name's Samuel Jenkins...Sorry I couldn't help you further, and sorry for before, and your friend". Morgan thanked the guy before helping Reid out the door. They got back into the car and Reid didn't say a word all the way back, Morgan could see in his mirror that he was clearly crying.

They got back to the station to meet with the others, Morgan still having to help Reid walk. "Jesus Christ...what happened?" It was JJ who came running towards Reid.

"Some dick in the bar" Morgan said placing Reid down on a chair.

"What the hell happened?"

"I went round back with the bartender and some how they figured Reid was gay and knocked two senses into him" JJ placed her hand over her mouth trying not to cry. Rossi walked past heading towards the door. "Does this guy never get a break" and walked out.

After a few more hours of looking, they finally found him, his parents owed some land and gave it to him in their will before they died, he was hiding the young girls there. Trying to ignore the horror they came across, what those poor girls must have been through. Despite finding Matthew, it was too late for Katie, he had already finished with her. The team headed back to the hotel feeling defeated. Everyone was down, there are good times in the case where you get to save the victims, but not all are so lucky. Morgan suggested they all have a few at the bar, and everyone besides Reid who just stayed quite, agreed.

Everyone was down at the bar, trying to blur away the vile images they saw today, feeling bad for not being able to save the young girl, having to tell her parents. Having them blame them for the murder of their daughter. That was always the hardest part, having to break the news to the parents who are so filled with hope. It always affected Hotch and JJ the most as they had young kids at home, so badly did they want to be with them. As they all drank away Reid was sat upset, alone in the dark. His head in his hands, and all you could hear was the soft, muffled cries from them. Once again, he was at the end of a hate crime, he was done being beaten up, taunted and hated for who he was. The guys didn't even know him, they just hated him anyway. Reid shot up, pacing the room. Pulling his hair out, he was going a little crazy, he was panicking. "I need it! I need it!" He kept repeating over and over again. Until he remembered. He went over to his band and tipped the contents on the floor. He moved everything around until...just there sat in the middle of the pile was half a vial of Dauladid, and a needle. It was stupid having these in his bag because anyone could have just gone into his bag and found them, but even he forgot they were in there. Picking them up, he hurried to the bathroom, he rolled up his sleeve and took off his belt which he placed around his upper arm blocking off the circulation. He looked at himself in the mirror, he knew what he was about to do was wrong but he needed it, he couldn't bare it anymore. I placed the needle into the vial a drew out more than his usual dosage. He felt the needle pressed sharply against his skin, and before he could have second thoughts he pushed it in. The cold liquid shot through his veins, his eyes rolled backwards before complete darkness. Falling to the floor.


End file.
